Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
First of all let me tell you my relationship with my husband has been going down hill for the past three years. We have been married for nine years. My husband can be abusive both physically and mentally. My husband has punched me and yells and swears at me on a daily basis. Every time I am sick my husband views it as a weakness and verbally abuses me. The day of my grandmothers funeral i was crying and upset and just asked my husband for a drink of water but he decided to punch me instead.
I am having an affair and I do not feel guilty. although the person that I am having an affair with does not know that i am still married. I have only been with him a few times but he treats me with nothing but love and respect and would never hit me or yell at me. The thing that worries me about the person that I am having an affair with is that during sex he likes it when i submit to him. I come from an abusive relationship and this makes me nervous sometimes but I know he would never hurt me. The other thing is that I was with him last night and he asked me to marry him. I did not know what to say and could not give an answer. I did not want to tell him that I was already married and even if I wasnt I dont think I want to be married again.
I know I am not doing the right thing and I know that I will probably get some negative feedback because of it. One of the thing that people will wonder is why dont I just leave an abusive relationship and get a divorce. It is not that easy. Believe it or not I still have some feelings for my husband and probably always will not only that but I am afraid of loosing everything I have worked so hard for.
I am having an affair and I do not feel guilty. although the person that I am having an affair with does not know that i am still married. I have only been with him a few times but he treats me with nothing but love and respect and would never hit me or yell at me. The thing that worries me about the person that I am having an affair with is that during sex he likes it when i submit to him. I come from an abusive relationship and this makes me nervous sometimes but I know he would never hurt me. The other thing is that I was with him last night and he asked me to marry him. I did not know what to say and could not give an answer. I did not want to tell him that I was already married and even if I wasnt I dont think I want to be married again.
I know I am not doing the right thing and I know that I will probably get some negative feedback because of it. One of the thing that people will wonder is why dont I just leave an abusive relationship and get a divorce. It is not that easy. Believe it or not I still have some feelings for my husband and probably always will not only that but I am afraid of loosing everything I have worked so hard for.
I think you know you need to get out of this marriage. On some level, you do know that.
Hey, I was married for 20 years, in a shit relationship, and divorced.
You speak of not wanting to lose all that you have worked for. Is this 'stuff?' I hear that, totally, but, BUT, as your H is punching you in the face, does STUFF really matter?
I am sure 'not so much.'
I lost all my 'stuff' and replaced it later with other 'stuff' from Walmart. Honey...
...Leave your H. I'll go shopping with you and we'll replace your Stuff. Cuz it's only 'stuff.'
Stuff doesn't carry much regard with me.
As far as your affair? That one may not end up well for you. Because when he finds out that you are married and haven't been truthful about your status, he may leave you.
BUT at that point, with being on your own, it may give you the opportunity to get your life on track. I would highly recommend this.
Leave the H. Leave the Stuff. Leave the Men. Work on you.
L~
You must think ahead a bit, even if you are victimized, and living a sad life, why would you want to risk this new guy, you are cheating with?
Why would you want to risk, his well being?
If your H is that impulsive to punch you, during a funeral, in front of others.....there is no telling what he would do to a man that you are screwing! Seriously, this sounds like a bomb ready to explode. If you care at all for this new guy, let him free, until you are free. Once you read in the papers, that he was maimed for life, or killed, you cannot take it back.
You know what to do, you apparently seem to immobilized to make a move. Nothing is worth living like a dog, cowering in fear, who cannot express their words, emotions, and especially these actions you are taking??? Bad news all around. You may as well start painting the bullseye on your new lover's head! And don't forget to paint one on your head too, cuz no doubt your husband lacks so much self-control, it doesn't sound like he would give two craps about killing the both of you, and land up in jail. And later, tell anyone who cares to listen, that it was "the cheating whore's fault". Is that really what you want? It is so dang predictable, it's pathetic!
Get out now, while you can walk and talk, please!