Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
Hi everyone,
My husband was having an affair with a co-worker who is married. I noticed the change on him and having and I asked him directly if he was involved with her and off course he denied it, later I found messages and I took snap shots of everything but didn't confront him cause I was hoping that he will realise his mistake and come and talk to me about it and apologise for the pain he caused and at the time I was throwing hints and trying to remind him of our good days together but instead he wanted to take time by himself and left our home to stay in a hotel and take time to rethink things and during the whole time he was in touch with her. I wanted to save my marriage and I located her husband and decided to go meet with him and tell him about the affair and that all I wanted is to save my marriage and he also should come out of the dark and try to save his otherwise I'm only working from one side and and no one is having an eye on her behaviour. It worked and my husband came back and I didn't tell him about my meeting with her husband but told him that I knew about the affair and I stayed calm to try to save our marriage, he said he came because of me and he realise that he missed me and that he loves me. I was happy to hear that but he remained in touch with her but no more love messages at least from where I was looking on Facebook messages but can't see his WhatsApp! Left on a holiday and during our lovely time together he asked me who knows about his affair and he'd like to show me one article she sent and I saw it before and she didn't mean anything by this article and he doesn't want me to keep evidence and threat him or her with it and I was so upset and told him that her husband already knows everything for 6 weeks now and didn't take any action, he was fuming and told me that i have made a mistake and it may cause him his job and I lost my place form very high in his eyes as he was happy thinking that I watched him play around and waited for him to come back and know he doesn't look at me the same way. He has no right to get upset and tell me that our marriage could finish because of what I've done and doesn't take any responsibility for his behaviour and take the heat, he just wanted to get away without a wake up call. Now we are back to where we were and he stopped all the care and love he was showing and only showing me his anger. I feel drained from all of it and thinking to walk away.
Secondly, you did the right thing by telling the OW's husband
If he loses his job, it is because he is/was screwing a co-worker. It's called consequences.
His A is still going on. He is neither sorry nor remorseful and is blaming you for his choices.
You do see how crazy this is, right?
The best thing you can do is talk to a lawyer, get a good therapist, and make a plan for your life.
As long as he is still involved with her, your marriage has no chance.
Your husband is still having an affair. If he has WhatsApp, he's using it to talk to her without you knowing. He wants the best of both worlds, and thinks he can pull it off, but you telling her husband made it that much harder for him because now the OW is under a microscope.
Some may say you did the right thing by telling her husband. I really don't know though. You mentioned you needed him to know about the affair so he kept his wife away from your husband. That doesn't really work though, and the fact is, even if this woman threw herself at him, he STILL shouldn't cheat.
Ultimately, it is not up to you, nor her husband, to stop the affair. It is ultimately up to them.
You seem like you genuinely want to save your marriage, which is really good. Most people would throw in the towel. The question is, does your husband genuinely want to save the marriage too? When I admitted to my affair, I did it because I knew I wanted professional help and I wanted to end the affair and be with my husband in a strong, healthy relationship. It takes BOTH partners to work towards getting there. I'm no where near close to that point, but we are both really giving it our all. Your husband doesn't seem like he is and he still seems like he's being deceiving.
I think it's time to see a therapist. Maybe start off by going on your own, then have him go with you. If he isn't up for this, call a lawyer.
I agree your husband is still having an affair.
There is no reason a married man needs a secret messenger app on his phone.
It appears you are doing all the work in this marriage and as long as there are 3 people in s marriage and he maintains his arrogant stance, you are fighting a losing battle.
Empower yourself to love yourself and respect yourself. When you do that everything begins to fall in place. Get an attorney. (And get tested for STDS)
This man shows you no respect and no remorse. Do not take his lying, cheating, arrogant crap anymore.
There are amazing true and faithful men out there who would value a relationship with you. Life is too short to waste on the nonsense your two timing hubby is giving you. Empower yourself to walk away. I get you love him- but what he is giving you is not love.