You may need to 180 her. That info is on this site or perhaps Cole or Gabrielle will be kind enough to provide the link. I'm sorry you are having to deal with this and hope you stay with the group this time. They are very helpful and supportive people.

react to what, I don't need a link to answer an opinion question and I never said I was leaving the site where did that come from

This is probably among the toughest Karma I've heard of. How would I react? Does that mean that now that he is gone she can go back to number 1?

Even if you go back with her. Does that mean that it will not happen again?

Only you have the answer and only you know your spouse. If I would be you probably would write in a piece of paper impassionately the good, the bad and what was she capable of and with a cold head take a final decision. That is what my wife did when I cheated on her.

Whoa! The same thing happened with chaointexas last week!
See the thread "feeling low"
http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Infidelity/forum/15522910-feeling-low

ironic no I am not going back with her and hurt guy I will take a look

Sorry getting. I read people's profiles if they are provided so I can try to understand them through THEIR eyes; not mine. If you read my stuff you will realize that I am trying to deal with my H's emotional affair as well and it is ongoing.

One of the things that was suggested to me was that I 180 my H, as he shows no desire to go nc with the ow.

BTW not recommending you do this right away; she's going to morn her "loss". However, sooner or later she's going to need to choose you as the only man for her or the cycle may just start all over again.

Likely she has turned to you in her crisis because that is probably historically what she has done when she has had a crisis in the past. My ex did the same thing during our separation when he got the ow pregnant and they broke up, he came to me in crisis. I didn't show much sympathy, but it was amazing how quickly he wanted to resume the roll of "I've got a problem, you take care of it," much like in our marriage. At that point I realized that I needed to go back to no contact in order to protect myself emotionally. Sure enough, he and the ow got back together and he became his usual Mr. Nasty again.

Protect yourself. I'm sure she has family and friends she can cry with. I think under the circumstances I would be very truthful with her and tell her that offering comfort right now is something you can't do.

The dude my wife had an affair with died last week. I didnt give a rats ass about it either, in fact i felt relieved. But it hurt like hell to watch her cry over the piece of shit. I told her I would be there for her but i didnt think I could console her at this point.

I think I would encourage her to talk to a close family member or friend about it to help her get through this. Definately not appropriate for her to look for consolation from you.

I understand you maybe angry at her because of her actions. However compassion for mankind. He is dead, she is feeling a host of stuff, and reached out to you in her of pain.

forgiveness will come later for now try and find compassion in your heart. not just for her but for you too.
good luck

Get,

I would not be so upset, E affair is a non touchy feely ones.

Now picture the men that must face the penis into wife images.

I would be mellow about it.

I have to disagree with Cigarrman......when I found out my husband had been physically and emotionally involved with other women, I found myself wishing it was just the sex. Sex he can get anywhere. It's an easy fix, stop talking to her. He probably wasn't walking to her to begin with.....but emotional....that's different he cares about her. I found myself asking "Does he love her?" "Does he want to be with her?" "Would he rather be wit her than me?" These questions dont nec come into play with strictly physical relationships........

Mama,

We differing sex orientation as a male its the sexual part.

EA is a new wave thing since the mid 90's before then it was called flirting.