Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
It seems to me a lot of us 'newbes' are in the stage of collecting proof and more proof.
Some of us need it to confront, some to realize the extent of the deception, but proof is important...
I am hoping to start a discussion on how to go about this.
Can you post what you found and how, or any ways you know to gather proof?
I found the e-mail to be a very useful tool, if you can access e-mail you can gain access to many sites, do the 'forgot password' routine on a site, you will receive the password in the CS e-mail (be sure to delete it and empty trash) using the e-mail you can fish sites to see if the CS has a profile, enter the e-mail and forgot password routine, if the CS is on the site you will get a password e-mail. Be sure to be careful about 'reset password' as then the password changes and they will know you snooped (save those for right before confrontation or when it no longer matters if they know)
I just noticed in the hotmail acct, click options at top right, then safe and blocked senders, safe senders gives a list of domains that the CS receives e-mail from ie plentyoffish.com myspace.com, lavalife.com... this will give you an idea where to fish for passwords...
The e-mail can also help to get detailed cell phone records online...ie, bell mobility , go to the website user login, fish for a password, if there is not one you may be able to get a profile set up online then access the online bill. The paper bill i was seeing had no details, I did the password fishing and got into the online bill. Every detail is there including texting times and phone browser (web) times and numbers dialed and when, there I can go as far as to see calls that happened just last night.
I know some people fresh here would probably really like some help figuring out how much of the past is lies and deception. I know I would.
If we can band together and help each other find what we need to know , we may be able to save time and pain.
It will help some who are stuck in limbo see things a little clearer...
So...
Proof, how can it be found?
( Also proof takes many forms...
A thought hit me last night, my CS stopped in mid stroke to ask her what was wrong, she had suspicions he was not single, he came clean and told her about me. I still have to drill and have undeniable evidence before he admits shit to me. He asks me what is wrong and I say I cant stop thinkin of her, starts a fight not a come clean session...Proof to me (as silly as it may be) her feelings and honesty with her, mean more to him than me...)
Some of us need it to confront, some to realize the extent of the deception, but proof is important...
I am hoping to start a discussion on how to go about this.
Can you post what you found and how, or any ways you know to gather proof?
I found the e-mail to be a very useful tool, if you can access e-mail you can gain access to many sites, do the 'forgot password' routine on a site, you will receive the password in the CS e-mail (be sure to delete it and empty trash) using the e-mail you can fish sites to see if the CS has a profile, enter the e-mail and forgot password routine, if the CS is on the site you will get a password e-mail. Be sure to be careful about 'reset password' as then the password changes and they will know you snooped (save those for right before confrontation or when it no longer matters if they know)
I just noticed in the hotmail acct, click options at top right, then safe and blocked senders, safe senders gives a list of domains that the CS receives e-mail from ie plentyoffish.com myspace.com, lavalife.com... this will give you an idea where to fish for passwords...
The e-mail can also help to get detailed cell phone records online...ie, bell mobility , go to the website user login, fish for a password, if there is not one you may be able to get a profile set up online then access the online bill. The paper bill i was seeing had no details, I did the password fishing and got into the online bill. Every detail is there including texting times and phone browser (web) times and numbers dialed and when, there I can go as far as to see calls that happened just last night.
I know some people fresh here would probably really like some help figuring out how much of the past is lies and deception. I know I would.
If we can band together and help each other find what we need to know , we may be able to save time and pain.
It will help some who are stuck in limbo see things a little clearer...
So...
Proof, how can it be found?
( Also proof takes many forms...
A thought hit me last night, my CS stopped in mid stroke to ask her what was wrong, she had suspicions he was not single, he came clean and told her about me. I still have to drill and have undeniable evidence before he admits shit to me. He asks me what is wrong and I say I cant stop thinkin of her, starts a fight not a come clean session...Proof to me (as silly as it may be) her feelings and honesty with her, mean more to him than me...)
I learned about most of the ways to catch a cheater after the affair was out in the open from, get this . . . my H. He actually thought the OW was doing some of this stuff to HIM and so do I.
Really strange things happened and she seemed to know what we were talking about ALOT. Once I actually got a call with a recording of my Hs voice on it saying things to the OW. Someone had to have recorded him and played it back to me . . . . hmmmmmm, I wonder who that might have been? She so wanted him to get caught so I would leave him and she would have him all to herself, but she wouldn't come out and tell me because then he would be angry at her so instead she left clues everywhere and got him to do things she knew I would find out about . . . BITCH! But he still kept seeing her which often makes me wonder how much he cared about her vs. me.
Also scrutinise bank statements, they will always slip up eventually.
Mobile phones another great one. This was probably when I first got suspicious of an affair, the way he never left it lying around, it was glued to him, he even took it in the shower with him....saddo. She even phoned him on it , thats how I found out her name by checking caller ID.
Private Investigators are brilliant but very, very expensive, but I don't care, I charged it to his card...ha ha. One other thing he started buying new pants, and clothes something he never did in 25 years? I always bought his stuff.
I got into my wife's Gmail account, Once in there I clicked on settings and enabled mail forwarding to my email address. Now I will get a copy of every email that's sent to her.
So if you Souse leaves there mail box open one day jump in and have it forwarded. On the down side i get her junk mail also.
Note Gmail sends a verification notice to the new address you need it to complete the process. She will never know.
Here's what I did...go to tools on your internet go to view objects that will tell ya where they have been on the net even if they delete it won't get rid of everything also people search do that for email address they use. I paid 1.95 for it and Got 5 email accounts that was his. google will tell ya if they have more than one facebook or myspace account.
watch out for the homemakers we are pretty smart!