Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
Ok so I need to discus the affair with my wife from time to time and get answers to questions I have. It seems every time I bring anything up I offend her for always bringing it up. I dont know how to proceed and I dont know how to get her to understand that we need to figure out why so we can avoid it in the future. My wife thinks that I should just sit back and let the whole thing go and not even think about it anymore. Last night at dinner we and our daughter were having an conversation about Tiger Woods and my wife actually asked my daughter if it was better to have a one night stand of a meaningfull relationship. I ofcource said neither as they are both discusting and destructive to a marriage. My wife told my daughter that the meaningfull affair was worse as there were feelings involved that should be only for your spouse. Later I asked her if she even realised that she had said it and she became angry and said that she was tired of being reminded of what she had done. I said yah so was I am dinner was a great reminder. She just doesnt get it . I thank you all for your advice and hope you all have a wonderfull day.
She needs to be open and honest about everything, or you will have nothing but the "trickle" truth and reminders of her faithlessness everywhere you turn. You need the whole truth from her if you are trying to save your marriage (and without the attitude from her).
P.S. I hope nobody finds this pffensive but I just love this joke.
what is the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger woods.
Santa only had 3 ho's ho ho ho
On a more serious note, you guys definitely need to be in marriage counseling. She is going to learn there that she can't keep details to herself on the A. You should not have to walk on eggshells to get this information.
Are you guys not in marriage counseling because of economic reasons or because you cannot both agree to go?
Take care and good luck!
Back to your wife. So she gets mad at you for bringing up her affair? Hey, I don't know this woman, but I would feel totally stonewalled if that were happening to me. How can you improve communication thus improve the relationship thus bring back some level of trust and intimacy if certain things are off limits? You can't have a good, solid relationship if some topics are 'no go.'
I would be pissed too.
I also don't blame you for needing to talk about this in your effort to make sure it doesn't happen again. Who would want to deal with this twice? (trust me, it sucks! but I have to admit, the second time around? I was much more final and decisive. There was not much discussion after finding out about the second affair.) I applaud your effort to reconnect to your wife to head this off again.
But there is only so much you can do on your own.
Tell your wife that unless she wants to answer your questions and be open to some frank discussions, you may be forced to assume the worst about her and this whole thing. She really isn't giving you any other choice.
And another thing? How long can you really go on like this?
Her Tiger comment? Man, you two seem to be on totally different planets in your thinking.
You can't really get this reconciled on her terms. Sweep it under the rug all she wants, but it is still large enough to trip you up everytime...and I mean 'everytime...'
Sending you some support, L~
I think you may feel at wits end until you know she hears you, until you KNOW she understands the level of hurt and humilition she has dealt you. Until she really gets that? You may feel like this.
If she would really sit down and see what she has done, and you would see that it MATTERS to her - your feelings and all - that would probably make every difference in the world.
Just my two cents worth...L~
Try and get yourselves into marriage counseling asap.
I told her that if we don't talk about it, our relationship won't improve.
I went as far as telling her that I would leave her if she did not open up.
So, 2 years later, and she has not done it.
As a result, I have detached from her emotionally.
I am not a firm believer in MC to correct this kind of problem.
If you want to stay with your wife, you may have to accept this.
IF however, YOUR WIFE recognized it as a problem, and enthusiatically persued addressing it....though IC or MC, then I believe it's possible.
Without a sincere stong desire from the cheater, the relationship is bound to fail IMHO. Also, she will do it again if she does not think there is a problem within her that needs to be fixed.