Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
Hi Everyone, My story is long so I will try to,hit the highlights. Over 14 years ago my husband moved to England leaving me and 2 kids in Canada for a year before we moved over there and joined him. The entire time he was there I had an overwhelming feeling that he was cheating on me. When we got to England he rushed us to a female colleagues's apartment for dinner where upon arrival I had that rush of heat from head to toe that you get when something is horribly wrong. I knew right then that he was having an affair for the last year. I confronted him only to be told he needed a friend, a best friend because I wasn't there for him. Well who's effing fault was that!!! I was busy taking care of our kids and particularly our son who was going blind at the time at only 5 years old. Where was MY FRIEND!!! So I didn't have time to deal with my prick of a husband because my son now needs a years worth of surgery. I had to delay dealing with my husband until my son was well. We moved back and my son was had other illnesses but as far as my husband is concerned he never admitted to an affair. Every December I seem to go into a depression and remember everything about England. So finally a few weeks we had it out and he admitted to an emotional affair with that woman. Here's my problem. I still don't beli him. I think they had sex. Does a man treat his wife just as badly during an emotional affair as he does a physical affair? He would come late from work and wouldn't talk to me or look me in the eye but he would talk to the kids. I've ta too much but today in the car he got a business call and the caller didn't know I was there. They were talking about a female prospect and the guy says to my husband" Did you end up fucking her? You can tell me. Come on did you fuck her? ". This is why I think he is lying. How long do I wait for the truth? Or do I just get the hell out?
I'm not following? Am I missing something? What brought this up now?
As for how long ago it happened and the why now?
I think you needed to know then but with your sons issues you didn't have the energy to dig into, so you've lived with the drain of not knowing while needing to know , if your husband doesn't get that, well at least now you know that he is not your friend
Refurb. You are right. I lost my best friend a long time ago. It's a lonely road especially when you have a special child.
Hope you find peace and happiness soon
I gave up asking for years and finally got the truth almost 8 years after the A ended.
Since you asked how long you wait. You wait until you can no longer live with a liar and by what you've said, you ARE living with a liar.
of your son. You put you and your marriage on the back burner because you were not ready to deal with it and the pain.
Clearly you are ready now. You want to get answers to your questions. You already know the answers though. You want your husband to admit to whatever kind of A he had and take responsibility for it.
All of us here want that. It doesn't always happen. Ideally, he'll admit it all to you, beg for your forgiveness, change his ways, and work toward earning your trust. That is the ideal.
Ask yourself, what will he really do? What does that mean for you and for your marriage?
I know I tolerated much too much from my H. At one point he told me it was MY responsibility to catch him and put an end to his A. Crazy, right? See, they will do what they want, what they can get away with for as long as they can.
It is only when you stand resolute, tell him you are not going to live like this, that these cheaters know their game is up and they have to decide if the A is worth it or not.
Sounds like you are ready to deal with this. Go for it. Demand the answers you want and need. If your marriage does break up, you won't have lost anything. You will have gained.
Good luck with all your health problems. Hope your son is better, too!
Now, that phone call in the car from his buddy asking if he fucked her, that is danger Will Robinson. I'd need to get to the bottom of this, and the buddy would need to go. What was the outcome?
Chronic liars lie to deflect conflict, and to get their way; it's a profoundly selfish behaviour. They learn this from childhood. Lying about an incident, blocks their ability to tell the truth, and in effect, seals the truth from ever escaping. They bottle it up and believe it will never harm them. But like anything that ferments for a prolonged period of time, it eventually explodes, and their shaky foundation brings the house down.
If he is willing to go to counselling, and open up his computer and phone to you, this is great progress.
I wish you both well.
Betrayed, that phone call still haunts me and unfortunately it was a colleague he was talking to so he can't cut ties. However the women doesn't work at the company anymore and he denies anything happened, of course. Counselling started last night. He took responsibility for all problems in our marriage and still offered up a lie detector test. Says guy in car was sleazy and full of shit. Thinks all prospects need to get F___ed to get a sale. My question was why by my husband? Too many questions, not enough believable answers.
By the way, thanks everyone for your answers an support. Couldn't do this without all of you. xo