Well - I think it's all on how your husband is dealing with things. My H is an open book. I check his cell phone every day when he gets home and if I see something I do not know - I ask. He still talks to the whore's cousin and I always question him on that phone call - like last night they talked for 30 minutes and he told me everything that they talked about and he said he exspects me to ask.

My H is a truckdriver so I either have to start trusting him or it's over. I won't live feeling that way. I know he is remorsful so I know he won't do this again cause I remind him that he will be tossed out on his ASS!!!!!!!!!

You really need to talk to your husband and tell him how you are feeling and tell him what you need him to do to make you less paranoid.

It's been almost a year for me and I still freak out sometimes. Tysey is right though you have to talk to your H and let him know what you need him to do to make it easier for you.

This was 18 years ago.

I stayed somewhat paranoid for a long time. My H was a pro athlete...need I say more? I suddenly had a herpes outbreak, he had to come clean about the ONS he had in Boston.

I checked everything for a very long time, I'm not even sure how long...then one day I stopped checking. I guess I hadn't found anything in such a long time I felt more secure. H was very open to me checking, and talking to me about it.

I started checking again a few years ago, came up with nothing...felt more secure than ever.

My new d-day was 7 months ago, I found out by accident, the OW sent him an email that I saw.
I am checking again. I will be checking for a very long time. H is very cooperative. He took a year off from work, to home with us so we could work through this together.

You will get past this, eventually. Your H has to be cooperative, talk to him and tell him how you feel. It will really help both of you.

its been 9 days today since my break up. i haven't heard from him and sometimes i feel as though he is still cheating on me even though we are not together but i know if i take him back i will feel the same as well.

We don't talk, he shuts down ,ansers are far and few between, and thier short yes or no, sometimes I think he acts as if nothing every happened and im nuts, like I made the whole thing up in my head, I wished he would just break down or cry or throw someting tell me how sorry he is someting anythign, all I get is "Are you even sorry that you did this to me , to us ? " "Yes" that's all I get, and sometimes he doesent even sound like he means it maybe if I knew how truly sorry he was, I could lay it to rest, I know deep down I will never get that ,You 'd think he'd be bending over backwards for me, yet he's not , sometimes I don't even think it's worth it anymore,

Crazymoon,
please donot get me wrong when i say this and i am not trying to make up excuses for those who cheat, but maybe he doesnot know how to show his emotions, maybe, just maybe he might be sorry and just donot know how to say it. My boyfriend sure doesnot. He grew up in a family where there was a lot of drinking, partying,cheating,cursing each other (in his family)and that's all he know so when i came along (i donot drink,cheat, or do a lot of partying or belong to a family that curse each other)he did not know how to act/treat me.