Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
Its' been sometime now on our rebuilding over 15 months.....wife seems very remorseful and very much working on changing for the better...my problem is I have days where I can;t get the SOB off of my mind----I see where some of you say remove it and don't give them the energy and focus on each other...but how do you do that?I could sure use some pointers!any one?
deleted_user
I know, easier said than done, right? My mind isn't completely OW free. One thing that has helped me is knowing what a piece a trash she is. She will spend her days lonely, misreble and self destructive; she wants to drag everyone down with her. Just focus on the happiness of your marriage, you, and your family, and have some faith in karma. What goes around does come around.
deleted_user
Oh, I agree with srsnde...I am not OW free either. but I am soooo better. You take all the time you need. whats good for one will not help another. Don't feel like you have a time frame. Just go at your pace. I'm afraid I will NEVER be all OW free, my husband destroyed so much and they played a big part. Good Luck !!!
betrayed4years
I agree with the others - that I'm not totally without thoughts of all the women that my H slept with nor the thoughts of what he did with them. But I do try to tell myself when the thoughts come up that it is in the past and that's where it needs to be. Most of the time the thoughts go away - but, like tearful said, it takes time and, while others may have rid themselves of the thoughts within several months of d-day, it takes others longer (as in my case, it's been 2 years and 3 months). God bless you!
deleted_user
It's not easy. I tell myself that what they had was a fantasy, it wasn't real. If thier relationship ever had to stand on it's own, it would colapse. I rationalize that they were both caught up in a fantasy fueled by excitement of the possibility of getting caught, and the "strange". The high you get from being with someone new. I have to remind myself that I'm not any better or worse than they are, I just held fast to my belief in my marriage, and they didn't. I also remind myself that they didn't get away with anything and they will have to live with the choices they made. I stayed true to what I believe in. I'm glad I didn't go there.
deleted_user
You can't remove the thoughts completely. I have often said that they will be like the mean, old crazy aunt's picture. She's part of the family and is in all the family pictures. You can't get rid of her out of the pictures. But, you will eventually learn to ignore her. The OP is now a part of your family history. They are in all of the family portraits, whether you want them there or not. The picture is hung prominently on the wall of shame. But, eventually you will look at the picture and not see the OP so much. You will look and see all of the other people you love. But, you will only see the OP and think, "Oh, yeah. I wonder what ever happened to that person?"
humbledvirginian
thank you for the pointers and the postive attitudes....we are all somehow suffering but I feel there is some light shining down that will brighten the future!
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