Earlier this year I found out my husband cheated on me and gave me chlamydia shortly after giving birth to our first child. I never suspected anything, not even that I had an infection. The whole thing felt like my world had shattered. I only found out by going to the doctor thinking my body was still wacky due to post-partum healing. I had a routine appointment with a standard lab order. Week and a half later I get a call from the doctor's office. Literally having a hallmark family moment, laughing and feeding the baby with my husband, when they informed me over the phone that I was positive for Chlamydia. Everything was blurry, my heart was racing, and I could feel my stomach in my throat. I will never forget that day; the week before my first ever Mother's Day at that.
It's been 5 months since that day and it's been an emotional roller coaster. Due to complicated circumstances we are unfortunately cohabiting while separated. He sleeps in the guest room and keeps to his separate living area while we continue to parent as normal as possible. Opposing work schedules makes things better, so the weekends are the most uncomfortable for the most part. Due to the cohabiting we sometimes fall back into old routine, like grocery shopping, cooking large portions, but nothing romantic. This also results in many arguments.
He repeats that he wants to try to redeem the marriage, but I have made up my mind about filing for divorce and have told him so over and over. For months he has made it difficult to schedule notary appointments needed so I can actually begin the filing process. I had been extremely stressed with college courses and changes at work so he took advantage of my exhaustion.
I have my mother for long distance emotional support, but that's been about it. His family has "been there for him" through all of this which makes me feel even more isoloated because they seem to be more about supporting him no matter what because he is family, yet not totally holding him accountable for ruining our family.
How do I keep my sanity through this? Has anyone been through a similar situation? Advice for the impending divorce? I don't really know what to ask specifically. I just feel lost and hurt. I just found this site and I'm hoping the community here can help me navigate this sea of emotions.
Thank you for reading my long post.
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