Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
I know I was supposed to go with no contact but I texted him and told him to come get his stuff that he wasn't going to use me for storage and if he wanted me out of his life for good there is no reason why his stuff should be at my house. I said I need to move on like he has and its not fair to me nor my daughter having his stuff there. I told him that my daughter told me last night that she doesn't think he is done with us b/c he hasn't come to get his stuff. He told me that if his stuff was bothering me that much to put all his stuff in his car and he would come move his car when he got time and that he didn't want to commit right now and he was sorry. I told him that was fine but again I am not going to be used for storage. I told him if he has a spare for his car I would take it and park it at hs work but if not I will take it and it park it elsewhere and mail his parents the keys. He texted back and said he was training someone right now and wasn't going to deal with it. I told him he never wanted to deal with it b/c he wants to see if whatever he has works out and if it doesn't that is when he will deal with us. He texted back and said I was being ugly and hateful to him and that I was a hypocrite. I told him a hypocrite is someone pretending to be what they are not and that would be him. He put on match.com that loyal first and foremost, that he was an all american guy, D&D free and never kiss on the first date and it should of said I am a player and I will take advantage of you as long as you will let me, I will never be faithful, after knowing you for 2 weeks I will tell you I love you and it was love at first sight, I am a worthless father and will have several women on the side. Now who is the hypocrite? Told him not to ever contact me again.
I have had to pack and put out my STBX's stuff for her cuz she won't get it, just like urs won't. And, she texted me to "leave her $h!t alone!" It sux having the reminders left behind, and you're probably on point about him waiting to see if it'll work elsewhere, etc.
If all his stuff fits in the car...offload it! What'd happen if you teld him to get it or you'll have it towed? That'll get him motivated.
Your next step should be to pack the car, and drop it off at his work like you said.
I think you are finally finding your anger. Good! I agree with ImDealing, do not put the ball in his court on this one. Pack his crap and send it on its way, however you can accomplish that. When my H left me and I could see that my attempts to get through to him were going nowhere fast and just making me look like a fool, I started packing his crap. Then I'd have it sitting on the driveway when he came by for the kids or something. It was nice having a second closet to myself for awhile ;)
Anyway, hang on to that anger for a little while. In my opinion, it serves a purpose in situations like these. For you, it means finally freeing yourself of someone who does not deserve you. Set the example for your daughter. Show her what it means to be a strong, confident woman.
YOU GO, GIRL!!!!
If he told you to go ahead and tow it...wouldn't that be a natural consequence...his Karma? He's calling you on it, and if you don't tow, he'll keep using u. He could have a friend pick it up and park his car and put his stuff in storage. He has options...why should u be the option when you don't want to be. That would be enabling of you. I'm a firm believer in tough love...you loved, he left, maybe now it's time to be tough.
My STBX used and used me til I started being assertive. Just sayin...
No idle threats. Feel free to make promises...and walk away well.
Nice PomPons, Nat!
L~