Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
After his long term affair and meeting her again I want a separation.
I have made it very clear to him several times and have been to counselling with him and told him in front of the counsellor.
Cut a long story, we were both due to go to a concert on Saturday with a lot of our friends, something that was booked months ago, previous to me finding out about him meeting with ow again. I wanted to go on my own, but he insisted on coming along.
I was pretty much on my own with my friends and he with the male friends. The majority of which know we have got massive problems.
When we get home (I said he could stay to spend the following day with the children) we don't sleep in the same bed and haven't done since the last meeting of ow and I never will again and he knows it) he started a massive row with me:
He said he has never been so humiliated people he didn't even know were coming up to him and saying about our split, as well as all our friends, he said that he told them that he loved me and was still with me!
He said that he hated being told of our separation when he didn't even know about it??? it went on and on and on, he got quite aggressive, pacing and shouting at me. I realised that I couldn't reason with him so told him to just go. He wouldn't, so I went to bed and just ignored him, then he was shouting at me to talk to him...eventually I got him to just leave me alone.
He then woke me up with a newspaper cutting he had read that day that he wanted me to read: it was about someone who had made a pact with her husband to make love every single day of their married lives to see if they could patch things up, and make their marriage stronger..........wtf........I went beserk, I said was his affair just about the sex, he said it was to start with, he felt as though he wasn't getting enough at home..thats why it started. Sure we may have had a few dry patches, but my father had just died and I was struggling with my grief, so wasn't really there for him. He said it was long before that, he felt that I didn't love him.
What is going on here, why is he doing this to me?
Any ideas please...I just don't want to discuss it with him.
I have made it very clear to him several times and have been to counselling with him and told him in front of the counsellor.
Cut a long story, we were both due to go to a concert on Saturday with a lot of our friends, something that was booked months ago, previous to me finding out about him meeting with ow again. I wanted to go on my own, but he insisted on coming along.
I was pretty much on my own with my friends and he with the male friends. The majority of which know we have got massive problems.
When we get home (I said he could stay to spend the following day with the children) we don't sleep in the same bed and haven't done since the last meeting of ow and I never will again and he knows it) he started a massive row with me:
He said he has never been so humiliated people he didn't even know were coming up to him and saying about our split, as well as all our friends, he said that he told them that he loved me and was still with me!
He said that he hated being told of our separation when he didn't even know about it??? it went on and on and on, he got quite aggressive, pacing and shouting at me. I realised that I couldn't reason with him so told him to just go. He wouldn't, so I went to bed and just ignored him, then he was shouting at me to talk to him...eventually I got him to just leave me alone.
He then woke me up with a newspaper cutting he had read that day that he wanted me to read: it was about someone who had made a pact with her husband to make love every single day of their married lives to see if they could patch things up, and make their marriage stronger..........wtf........I went beserk, I said was his affair just about the sex, he said it was to start with, he felt as though he wasn't getting enough at home..thats why it started. Sure we may have had a few dry patches, but my father had just died and I was struggling with my grief, so wasn't really there for him. He said it was long before that, he felt that I didn't love him.
What is going on here, why is he doing this to me?
Any ideas please...I just don't want to discuss it with him.
I agree with chriscrx, except he doesn't need a "hint" he needs a flat-out smack to the face. Having him served or just packing up his stuff and setting it out on the sidewalk for him might just get the idea across for him.
Sounds like the move of a classic narcissist BTW. Will continue to cheat and cheat but once the marriage is in danger of falling apart, he gets apologetic and gets desperate to save it.
Internal peace my friend. You need to do what is right for you. Perhaps the counselor can tell him that he needs to separate from you.
My EX did the same crap to me. I said, 'did you really think I would put up with this? I don't even share my chocolate. What the HELL makes you think I would share my man?'
He said, 'I didn't think you would actually LEAVE!'
It really wasn't up for a vote.
My EX was doing the same crap to me that your's is now doing. Just could not GRASP that what he KNOWINGLY did would actually mean the end of us.
...he even called me stubborn...and unforgiving...
Like I didn't know that?
...and he brought up the sex thing - said we should be having sex 'and that will make it all go away...'
Like hell.
It's all a game. Kind of like Monopoly but with your head.
My advice? Leave the game board and let him play all by himself.
Sending you support, L~
He does not have a vote.
Sending you support, L~
Do you think this is really a narcissist, interesting.. I guess all cheaters could be classed as narcissistic?
I think he has stopped seeing her, but I don't care even if he does anymore. Maybe if that starts up again he will really GO.
Can't stand too much more of this crap.
Take care
If you are....give him a time frame to get out of your ass....its gonna happen anyway- so get it started for him.
Go file your papers and get him on down the road girl. The fat lady has sung, he just isnt hearing her.
It sounds like he is still living in your house after cheating long term and repeatedly.