Sounds like its payback time for you busting his cheating, and possibly over the hard time you gave him over it. Its is very immature behaviour .

Tackling it, I would just pick him up on it every time he does it, just tell him how much this hurts you whenever he does it and hopefully he should get the message, depends how bitter he is inside about getting caught in an affair.

Good luck

Sounds like its payback time for you busting his cheating, and possibly over the hard time you gave him over it. Its is very immature behaviour .

Tackling it, I would just pick him up on it every time he does it, just tell him how much this hurts you whenever he does it and hopefully he should get the message, depends how bitter he is inside about getting caught in an affair.

Good luck

lol... I shouldnt say anything..but cant help myself. If it were me, each time he threw back in my face something I did or said in the past, I think I would have to remind him of what he did to me. Then after I did ask him if he liked that feeling. If he said no...then I would say, neither do I!!

He needs to grow up.

Your H sounds like my H. When he left me, he dredged up shit I didn't even remember. We'd been married 12 years at the time and I think he went as far back as about 10 so he could blame me for everything. He admits to having a rolodex in his head from whence he can whip out dates and times of my transgressions. And yet...and yet when I ask him to recall what he and the OW were chit chatting and texting about all those hours...not so much detail. Things that make ya go hmmm!

Mine's gone cold in the 'ol romance department, too. Do you think they have a secret club?

@NattyJK, exactly, when he was living apart he brought up stuff that happened before we got married, I was stunned, everything from "You always got to drive the nicer" To things I hadnt a clue of that was bothering him, I was always brought up if something's bothering you , say something, dont let 16 years roll by and then when your mad that you got busted cheating and knocked off your pedalstal, then drop the bomb,Oh by the way back in 1994 when we first met You made a comment .... WTH!? I know alot of it over the last near 3 years he's tried to justify the messing around, make easier on himself, I nipped that in the bud and told I take full responsibilty for the things I've said and done , but you will not put that on me, that had nothing to do with me , I wont take the blame for the cheating , he doesen't throw stuff in my face , its like once I make a comment he files it away, like for instnace I made a comment b/c I was mad, the kids were late for school he didnt get up with them like he pr omised ,and didnt bother to drive them , I had to and I got mad, and "You never seem to want to do anything around here to help me, " He said 'Oh so your saying I dont do anything "then he stops, and he doesn't and that was last year, its like once I say something he blows it way out of proportion and cant let it go ,I know it all sounds petty, I know deep down th OW did a real number on him, in the beginning of our reconcilliation and before, he would talk but it wasn't him talking, he'd always treated me with respect , I asked him to do something years ago and he would do it ,now its like having a 3 rd kid, one thing in paticular, he says often "Hes Entitled " It would make so mad when he started talking , it was like the person talking looked like my H but the words coming out were not things he would say so I would say "is this Jim or the whore talking b/c where I am standing it sounds like her ?" Someone on earlier stated earlier that it might be payback for me finding out about him and her that could be I never thought of the revenged angle, He was held in such high esteem, everyone including me looked up to him, now he just looks like every other H/W thats a cheater .but he is Narcissistic, so if the revenge angle is true then he's trying to put the blame on me, thats what they do, nothing is ever there fault.

Dont you wish you could sometimes just press CTRL / ALT/ DELETE? and erase all the BS? It took me close to 3 years to finally make peace with it, but it's always right there , I think what made it so hrad for me to forgive him was that he was no longer unique to me, a man who stood firm in his convitcions, morals, he never lied , always spoke his mind , when I think of how many lies he told, the sneaking around, the change of personality ,how fast he turned on me, now I just look at him and see that he's just like all the other H/W & partners who have cheated, he threw it all away for some nasty piece of trash he worked with

I don't understand the use of the word 'allowed'. Nobody allows me to do anything. This should be a partnership (I think).

If I had decided to stay w/my ex (I threw his ass out, promptly), he wouldn't get to tell me I am not 'allowed' to discuss the situation any longer. He would've been lucky to be 'allowed' to stay in my life.

He sounds petty and small, to me.

I'll tell ya' something. I had a friend who's dad did this. Like 20 years ago, the wife rearanged the living room and he didn't like it and said so - that she did this without his input. He said, 'it's like you think this is YOUR room.' From that day forward, and for the last 20 years, he has sat in his heated garage with his tv and recliner because she had the audacity to change the furniture around.

Pretty stupid, huh?

Now, I was dating that friend, that son. Well, he thought it was ridiculous that his dad did that. Then I found him doing the same thing. If I slipped up and did something that he disagreed with, he would do the 'you did this and I will NEVER do yada yada again...' And he meant it.

When I saw how his dad was, I found it incredibly likely that his son would do the same thing - even tho he thought it was stupid. He would. Hell, he WAS!

...and he was done.

I won't live with that shit. You should not either.

Sending you support, L~