Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
Hi I am new to the group I am in a 3 year relationship with a man and am just recently divorced. It is a long story to make it short, the marriage was abusive and I put up with it for too long. When I decided to leave I did not give myself enough time to heal and jumped into another relationship. I wasn't ready and he wasn't in a better space either. He told me everything I wanted to hear and I believed him. Throughout the first two years he cheated on me online and in person with many different people. I found out last year. I knew all along that something was wrong and I asked him openly. He lied. I started playing detective and finally found out everything a little at a time. Each time I discovered something he denied it, I persisted found proof and he had to admit to his guilt. This happened three times at an interval of 3 months. I stayed. It has been a year and I cannot find it in myself to trust him. It feels broken. He is a liar. But I love him and I do not want to go. He says he doesn't want me to go. I just cannot get over it.. I saw by accident that he erased a message on messenger and I confronted him he says I don't trust him, I told him it is because he is too comfortable living in lies so I cannot trust...
It isn't a crime to be a perfectionist, according to Jesus (whom I am a nonreligious believer of) perfectionism guarantees personal happiness, and being a now avid follower of His ways, so I have found it to be.
If you accept that you are anything but perfect, then anything but perfect is what you become and, I don't know about you, but being flawed is something I find depressing, so being depressed is an acceptable lot in life? Personally I think no, so being the best you can is what I prescribe you should be (all of my critics are imperfectionists, surprise surprise, and none of them are happy).
You strike me as one who is lovely and lovable, you have come a long way in a short period of time, congrats.
"(just like every other person in the world)", no so, there are two breeds of people in this world whom are lovable without being able to be loving, they are psychopaths and sociopaths, they make up 1% of the human population, close, but no cigar.
You need professional help...
www.marriagebuilders.com
First off he is a serial cheater who has cheated for most if not all of your relationship. I worry that you are still in this due to fear of being alone/abandoned rather than what you describe as love. Codependent attachment can be a dangerous thing that keeps you in an abusive relationship.
It may be that being in a relationship right now while you are not in a healthy state may not be the best of ideas. Even if you break up with him you are at the risk to cling tightly to the next person you meet, who could be just the same as your current boyfriend.
Perhaps just being on your own while you gain self confidence, healing, and strength could be good while leaning on other types of relationships like friends and faith community.
By the way, so glad that you're out of the abusive marriage you once had. Now hopefully this one can be fixed. :)
puts the health of your relationship above his short term wants,
respects you, even behind your back!
However, as you make more and more consecutive good decisions for yourself and your daughter it will eventually lead to a better place than otherwise.
I pray you are doing better.