Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
its been about 8 months since my boyfriend 40, cheated with my daughters 18 year old friend, who lived with us, most likely in our bed, so i chose to keep the relationship going, he ended the relationship, but the saga continues,,,,he continues to tell me im cheating and yet he is the one showing the signs he is cheating, i haven't proved it yet, but if he is. again. our relationship is over definately. I'm 40, and not able to handle cheaters. I got some hickies from him, and he turns around and says he didn't give them to me, I have never cheated on him, nor will I ever, it's not in my nature to cheat, so I told him that. Now he texting me saying He was the one who gave them to me. Idk. help>>>>
I got more to share, but I'm going to a different page, look for, "different scents on your mate"
You sure do have a whallop of a background story! Very complicated indeed! I, too, would try to work things out with your daughter, after all she is your blood, and you gave birth to that baby!
Now about this opportunistic 40 year old man, who had sex with your daughter's 18 year old friend.....and who is always accusing you of flirting at work....
Girl, I don't care if that girl approached him nakedly, he's the adult, and since this girl was living in your home, you were basically like her substitute mom, and she was like another "daughter", right?
Yes, some girls that age, do look for love in the wrong places, I'm sure her background is probably very complicated, and mabe even savory.....but your man was supposed to be "your man", and being 40 yrs. old, could have/should have used some self-restraint, moral conviction, and sound judgment, don't you think? He could have run out of there, and told you later, right! YOu could have approached her, and kicked her out, due to her poor choices, right? You could have insisted on sitting them both down, and revisiting the debauchery, true???
I'm sorry, gotta be downright honest here, like a few others gently indicated....I would trust this sob one minute with anyone, including your own children. He abused and violated that girl, had she been one year younger, it would be called "statuatory rape". A child is not supposed to be of age to give consent, according to the law, so even if she did come on to him, there was something about him, some signals, something said, or done, and even if he was an angel, a perfect gentlemen prior, he should have been a real "man" to say, no, I'm in love with my honey, and this is inappropriate.
She's young, and maybe stupid, or did read his signals correctly. What's his excuse???
I have given a lot to my daughter, This is what is called "tough love," I am not totally writing her off my list, she is and always will be my daughter, I love her with all my heart. I don't ever intend to just throw her away like garbage.
I am standing up for myself, because I spent 16 years being abused, emotionally and physically by her. Until she seeks help for herself and her own problems and faces her monsters and starts healing herself and has some respect for me, I will not allow her back in my home or around me. I deserve to feel safe in my own home.
As for my honey....he is not going to harm my children, he made a bad decision with this girl, who I no longer talk to.
People make mistakes. My children love him and care for him. I love him and care for him. I trust him completely around my children.
And on that note, my children are 100% open with me and can tell me anything at anytime, they will not be afraid to tell me if he is harming them. I talk to them about everything, from sex, to drugs, and alcohol. Where I live its important to talk about everything. I was the one who put my ex in prison, I will not be afraid to put anyone else in prison, if they are harming someone.
This other girl, my daughters friend, I don't know her, my other "daughters" I know them, they all come talk to me all the time, and respect me and love me as a "mom."
He makes no excuses, he is sorry and we have our bad days, but he still chooses to stay. He knows. He is totally sorry and is trying to make amends. thank you blonde for your input, I take all things into consideration. It has opened my eyes to a lot of not so nice things.
As for Prince Charming, well l... hickies?! REALLY! At your age? What is going on here? He sounds pretty immature, which is probably why he went after the 18-year-old. And the jealousy! It's very common from people who cheat to suspect it from the other person. Guilty conscience. Plain and simple.
You don't deserve this! I suspect things will get worse before they get better. The more understanding and loving you become, often, the more selfish the cheater gets after they've been found out. Guard your heart. This is a game to him. You have to make a commitment to yourself that you will be the winner in the end! That means doing something hard to get to the place of peace. He's your BF, not your H. Remember that!