Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
Has anyone seen this movie with their cheating spouse? Did it make a difference? Did you see any emotion from the cheater while watching the movie?
I watched the movie yesterday afternoon (while kids were at a cousin's house) with my husband. He had a almost 2 year affair with our neighbor who was also my best friend. During the whole discovery process of finding out about the affair, I never really saw any emotion from him. He "stated" many times that he was sorry for what he had done. He "stated" many times that he wished that he had never hurt me this way. However, I saw no emotion...just a stoic demenor.
Well, that changed yesterday. He broke down in sobs and tears telling me how sorry he was and that he loves me dearly...much more so now than he ever did. That is the first time I have seen him cry in the almost 20 years that I have know him. He was happy when our kids were born...no tears. He was sad when his grandmother and grandfather passed...no tears. No real emotion.
I saw different yesterday. Is it possible that he really has seen the light and loves me the way he should or am I just be naive again. Any opinions would be appreciated.
I watched the movie yesterday afternoon (while kids were at a cousin's house) with my husband. He had a almost 2 year affair with our neighbor who was also my best friend. During the whole discovery process of finding out about the affair, I never really saw any emotion from him. He "stated" many times that he was sorry for what he had done. He "stated" many times that he wished that he had never hurt me this way. However, I saw no emotion...just a stoic demenor.
Well, that changed yesterday. He broke down in sobs and tears telling me how sorry he was and that he loves me dearly...much more so now than he ever did. That is the first time I have seen him cry in the almost 20 years that I have know him. He was happy when our kids were born...no tears. He was sad when his grandmother and grandfather passed...no tears. No real emotion.
I saw different yesterday. Is it possible that he really has seen the light and loves me the way he should or am I just be naive again. Any opinions would be appreciated.
It would help if I could finish a word correctly. LOL... :-)
Having said that ... one instance of remorse and realization is not enough. Perhaps this is the spark that will help him change. But keep protecting yourself.
Think of all of the stories of people in relationships with abusers. The victim finally gets to the point that they kick the abuser out or leave themselves. The abuser sees the light, does the hard work, and convinces their partner that they have changed and to come back. A few months later, the abuse starts again.
I think feeling hope is great, just back it up with a healthy dose of realism.
Emotions are a funny thing. I would like to think that your husband was showing true remorse and a change of heart.
My only advice is take it slow. Unlike the movie, the whole idea of the book is that both members of the couple are involved in the process.
My prayers are with you.
I do not trust him yet, but I can hope that the emotion that he felt yesterday is a sign that things have changed. He has never been an emotional person...very, very long fuse. I am the one with the short-temper usually. He has never treated me with any disrespect or anger, until the affair. He wants to do the Love Dare stated in the movie. He said he wants to rebuild our marriage stronger than it was so that this never happens again.
I hope that I can believe him, however, I will still be vigilant. Thanks again.
The Netflix reviews are funny, and tend to break down along religious lines with church-going folk giving it 4-5 stars and the nonreligious giving it 0-1 stars...
But there is a sad little fact about many of us humans, including myself. We may be moved and cry at something depicted in a movie, but not in similar real life scenarios.
A man in tears on tv, in the movies, gets me every time. The few times it's happened with H, not so much. I'm not sure why that is....maybe it's the circumstances, or because there was no sad, beautiful music playing in the background. LOL
So I guess what I'm saying is, I would want to see H moved this way in real life, by me . I think these inspirational movies, church, books, seminars, etc., are great for chipping away at the tip of the iceberg -- getting them thinking when we can't seem to do it on our own. But ultimately, if I'm to believe it's real, I'd need to see real day to day change. Or even month to month....LOL
I hope people with other beliefs can still appreciate the moral values/message. Afterall, many who don't really believe or have an opinion of God still saw fit to take their vows in His House.