Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
Right this is a really tricky moral problem I am coming up against
As anyone who has been following my posts knows that my h had long term A which was over then he met her again. I have kicked him out, but he wants to come back.
My h has just been offered a multi million pound contract that could see him earning millions within the next 4/5 years. I know this is true because he was working on the contract before we split. Itrs just coming to fruition. I was also involved in a lot of the negotiations.
What would YOU DO? Take him back because we will be really rich?
or stick to your guns about the A, although this does also means that he can quit his current work and never have to be in contact with the BITCH?
Can I have been with this man for 25 yrs of my life and walk away with none of the money? after struggling for a good many of the 25 years?
Shit...don't know what to do.
My sister had same problem, her h is now a multi millionaire after she booted him out after an A, he ended up marrying the ow and they live in the carribiean, houses all over the world, Australia, Tuscany, Capri etc etc.
She is so bitter.
Help
As anyone who has been following my posts knows that my h had long term A which was over then he met her again. I have kicked him out, but he wants to come back.
My h has just been offered a multi million pound contract that could see him earning millions within the next 4/5 years. I know this is true because he was working on the contract before we split. Itrs just coming to fruition. I was also involved in a lot of the negotiations.
What would YOU DO? Take him back because we will be really rich?
or stick to your guns about the A, although this does also means that he can quit his current work and never have to be in contact with the BITCH?
Can I have been with this man for 25 yrs of my life and walk away with none of the money? after struggling for a good many of the 25 years?
Shit...don't know what to do.
My sister had same problem, her h is now a multi millionaire after she booted him out after an A, he ended up marrying the ow and they live in the carribiean, houses all over the world, Australia, Tuscany, Capri etc etc.
She is so bitter.
Help
The internet has an infinite memory and you never know what might come back to haunt you.
I was/am in a similar situation where my wife's family has a crazy amount of money. I could have forced my wife to stay after the affair and try to work things out. I am definitely living a different lifestyle now without her money. Ultimately, money cannot make you happy I think. Being very poor can make you unhappy, but living in an unsatisfying marriage purely for monetary reasons will ultimately feel sad and empty IMHO.
I can't say what make sense, but it might be worth talking to a lawyer about whether your support throughout the marriage could constitute a right to a share of the future earnings from his company or this contract.
That being said - I would rather be poor and know that I earned what I have than rich with a false life.
That being said - it would certainly serve him right if you took him back until he made his millions and then cheated on him, took half his money and moved to the Carribean.
-A
spousalsupport.
Oh going and indefinite. Talk to a lawyer.
My opinion and personally? Becky, I walked out on an H/now my EX when he was holding a job (he doesn't now - the drinking has taken over) and he was pulling down some pretty good change. Pretty damned good. Life was pretty easy. Sure, I worked but that was mostly for the social aspect of it all. I loved to be out around people and earned some pocket money too. All was good in my world.
I left him with only a part time job for myself. I was pretty pissed - you could say. I kept rounding up the jobs as much as I could. Went after minimal child support and minimal maintenance/alimoney. I didn't want to become dependant on it. Not good for the long term plan, correct? I think, at one point, I was working three jobs and going to school.
...and drinking a lot of coffee.
Finally, I landed the one job that would allow me to work ONE job, have bennies for me and my kids. SWEET!
...and I am still social.
Point being? I could not stomach him and his cheating and lying anymore. He made me want to vom in my mouth all the time. It was done. Money can't fix that. Yes, I knew the road was going to be hard as hell. Yes, I know I'll have to bust my ass for the rest of my life. So be it.
I'm still happier not compromising myself.
If I would have stayed and put up with his shit for the money and the easy lifestyle? I remember thinking, 'I am no better than a prostitute. Screw that...'
Just my two cents.
Talk to a lawyer. L~
I talked to a woman about a year ago who had a similar dilema. It's a long story, but if she divorced her H, it meant giving up millions, giving up her church (because they tried to tell her she was going to lose her salvation), giving up the social circles they were in and all that goes along with it. Her words exactly, "Now I have nothing, but I have everything."
She has her self respect, her dignity, her freedom from his lying and cheating, she is able to provide for her 3 kids (although it requires hard work) and she is no longer being emotionally abused by him.
If you were married to him for 25 yrs, that probably qualifies for spousal support and all kinds of other support (retirement, etc).
Don't sell your soul.
I am not a predatory person by nature, but trust me on this- these cheaters will screw you out of any support if they could. Take the money- why should you have given 25 years of your precious TIME and get nothing but a lot of broken dreams and empty promises?
Aside from the money...do you love him? Does he seem genuinely remorseful? Has he cried more than alligator tears?
Another thought I had: (Devil's Advocate voice) is that if YOU don't take him back, you can be SURE some other woman will.
I wish there was some kind of law that protected the "starter spouse"... Such as, after being married for so long, say starting with year 10, you would be entitled to 1/2 of their yearly earnings, if the marriage ends due to infidelity on their part... The betrayed should receive 3/4 of all properties, investments, and monies currently shared between the parties, and then 1/2 of the cheaters yearly income for the rest of their life. It's reasonable to assume that you would have had benefit of these things had they not cheated, and since marriage is a contract between two parties, this should be their penalty... Not sure how it would help my situation, but it could others.... :O)