Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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onyx11 03/14/2013

Well I had the final settlement the other day - the STBX came down and talked to me while the lawyers were working out their details - I didn't care to talk to her.

my STBX is looking sadder and looking not as excited about the whole scenerio - trying to be nice to me etc.

I told her she could have handeled this whole thing totally different - said to her - if she wasn't happy or fell out of Love she could have just said that and we could have gone our seperate ways instead of this mess - lawyer bills - lieing - cheating/infidelity.

I told her I guess you have a really good way for blocking things out of your head (all the memories of her lieing and crazytown actions while we were still living together) the betrayal etc

I also told her that she must not have a conscious - to that - she got up and walked out. She didn't like hearing that.

Also, my GF said perhaps she has a very bad case of Postpartum depression - she was majorly depressed leading up to this - and perhaps thats why she went into crazytown for happiness.

Who the heck knows - I think its a combination of a lot of factors but if she does then this new dude is in for a major ride.

I'm still waiting for a freakin apology. Probably will get one when this thing with her new dude implodes and the newest becomes the old and she wishes for what she had - selfish - shallow POS - sorry had to throw that in.

gina666 03/14/2013

Are you saying she never even said she was sorry!?? Wtf?? That's just mean.Funny my H gets really mad when I say he doesn't have a conscious either..dick.

onyx11 03/14/2013

No, she has not said she is sorry as of yet. I ponder who I was married to for 10 years - a user who once that gravy train slowed down - she said let me jump off and go over here. I have no idea. It baffels me.

onyx11 03/14/2013

O, BTW mean is a nice word for her. I think of her as evil. Everything she did was to hurt me and keep me down - as in what I believe - what her father did to her mother - she is reliving history. Her father cheated on her mother for 3 years living outside the house and everyday her mother cried and could not work or barely eat. She woke up crying, went to bed crying. Her mother cried so much that her eye shut - she could not open it - had to have it operated on to open it back up.

I think this is what she thought I would do. I think shes a POS and want to be done with her.

deleted_user 03/14/2013

I can identify to many things you say. Post-partum depression, many mean things done, never saying sorry... In my case I became the main responsible for evwrything bad in her life, no mattwr what. She started "hating" me, therefore didnt feel too much guilt in going with somebody else and lying even in the face of evidence. In both our cases... I wonder what will happen when this "cause" of unhappineds is removed

gina666 03/14/2013

My husbands mother cheated on his father the whole time they were married.44 years! All the kids hated there mom because of that and how mean she was to him.He dealt with it because he was an old school Italian.My husband said "I can't believe I did this to you after seeing what it did to my father,I never thought I would cheat on you"
Yea whatever,he did.I always say how disappointed his father would be in him if he knew.We were very close,since I was 12.He was the nicest,most generous man I have ever known.A second dad.

onyx11 03/14/2013

Gina - I'm sorry you had to go through that - at least your H seems to have learned his lessons and some people do make mistakes in life. If he is remorseful then hopefully you both can grow from this and it will never happen again.

My STBX mother knows all about it her affair and said she was so sick about it and will not to this day speak to her.

LyraAryn 03/15/2013

onyx11, don't hold your breath waiting for an apology. There may come a day when she realizes that it was her actions, and her actions alone that caused this to happen. That'll probably take years and years, if ever.
Our cheaters don't like to face up to the consequences; they blame others for their behavior and actions.

deleted_user 03/18/2013

There's the Affair bubble and holding it in place are the rationalizations / justifications typically from demonizing the faithful spouse. While the bubble will burst eventually (average Affair dies a natural death in 2 years), but the Pillars stay.

So, while her "price charming" didn't quite turn out to be all that, the husband stays as the fabricated Demon. Hence the lack of apology!

onyx11 03/18/2013

one thing she couldnt blame me for is not having her parents or family stay with us - i had her mother - sisters live with us for 6 months at a time just so she could have help with the boys even though she wasnt working. Whatever made her happy -

my GF says i should have had her working fulltime - she says if she was working fulltime she wouldnt have had time to cheat - she would have been running from her to there.

My GF also says that i should have been so nice to her about the happy wife happy home - she says i should have pushed her more to do more.

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