Because unfortunately your heart is broken and you don't know any other way to be. I have been dealing with this for three months and some days it feels like I just found out. My sister in law has been dealing with this for 3 years and somedays are still hard. The trust is gone, you feel completely betrayed, and unfortunately we all feel somehow inadequate. I don't know how long the process to feel somewhat whole again takes, but I understand what you're going thru. It is hard when the person that is your best friend, who you trust above anyone else, betrays you. Keep your head up.

Because you loved with all of your heart and you heart with it too.

oops, meant that you hurt with your heart too.

My ex gutted me. Ripped me open from top to bottom and laughed with his OW as my guts spilled out all over the place. Every time I started to pick them up and put them back inside me he would do it again. It took a long time. It took a lot of inner strength and the support of a wonderful group of friends and family but all my guts are inside me now. I am better than new.
The gutting or shattering happens because you have complete faith, trust and love in your partner and the fact they could do this to you is unfathomable. To do this to anyone takes an incredible amount of cruelty. Nobody deserves it for any reason.
It is the hardest thing to look at a person you would have laid down your life for and realize they do not and probably never did feel that way about you. It is harder still if they show no remorse.
It can be done though but time is the biggest contributer to the healing process and with this pain it seems to move incredibly slow. It is a purifying pain you are going through. One that presents an opportunity to get to know "you" better than you ever have before. You find out what you are made of and how much of a survivor you are.
Nearly two years ago I prayed to die in my sleep. It hurt to breath. Every thought through every moment of every day hurt so incredibly deep. I didn't beleive I would survive it because I loved the man that much. I gave that much of my heart and soul to him and when he gutted me I didn't think there was anything left. I remember the pain well but I am here now. No pain. Some small moments of residual anger because it was all so heartless and senseless. He could have had his freedom without all this destruction. But for the most part I am on the other side. Standing on my own two feet emotionally and financially and doing very, very well. It can be done. You can get through it. If I can then anybody can. (((HUGS)))

You're mourning the husband you used to know...the one who loved and respected you. Now, you have a stranger that looks like your husband whose character isn't worth your time or emotions. But, you're still hoping/wondering if your old husband (the one who showed love and respect) will come back to you.

It's only normal to feel as if you were shattered.

You were. Totally.

But...even being shattered, you still exist in there. In all those tiny pieces. They are all there. Feel free to start putting yourself back together. In time.

Were you always broken? Only you have that answer. Do we think so? No, not really. We have all been hit by that wrecking ball in our lives and know how hard it hits. It doesn't play fair either. So....feeling this way, for a time, it acceptable. But allowing yourself to feel this way forever? That is not acceptable. To see those pieces of yourself broken? Acceptable. To NOT pick them up and fight for yourself?

You got it...not acceptable.

Fight for you.

L~

Completely understand 2b. The heart,? million piece thing? Yeh me too.

He affects you so badly because you loved him, and gave your life to him. As simple as that.

It doesnt matter what he is worth, it's what you invested into him.

The same goes for me and my ex. She was a hell bent heart from the start, but I loved, cared and invested into her so much. Thats where the pain is.

(((hugs))) You'll be ok :)

Because you're human like the rest of us. You need to mourn and feel your emotions. YOU are worth the time it takes to process your feelings. YOU are worth taking care of and getting support too. One thing I didn't understand was how to process my feelings. I have a tendency to think obsessively and go over my story in my head instead of actually feeling the feeling in my body. It's probably not uncommon. It can help to concentrate on the sensation of the feeling somewhere in your body and it can help to write out your feelings quickly without worrying about what you write or how good your penmanship is.