The fantasies will taper off little by little over time, if it really IS over between them. But I believe the best thing you and your family could do has already been done: nothing. She was expecting a backlash. Maybe she thought she'd welcome him back to her bed with open arms/legs. But it didn't happen. Good for you. Often, the best response to a bully like this is silence. Let him deal with her. Now that he knows she doesn't fight fair and has no boundaries, I'm sure she got the message loud and clear. And you didn't have to do any heavy lifting at all. Also, too bad he's in treatment. Hope he's learned his lesson, and I hope the kids will be O.K., too.

That is slander, and as it might not be illegal, but you can file a civil suit against her. You may or may not win, but it will cause her to get a lawyer and have to go to court or settle out of court.

I'm with Steve on this one.

Doing that to your kids is low. Beyond low. Even if they are adults.

She wants to hit? Hit back harder.

Sending you support, L~

Involving your kids is inexcusable. I seriously don't understand what is wrong with one of these people. They sleep around with married men and then when they choose the wife over the whore, the tramp goes crazy. Essentially these people believe men that they KNOW are lying, but act all butt hurt and awful when things don't go their way and intentionally hurt others.

I'm with Steve and L. I would threaten suit against her in addition to getting a restraining order. If she ever bothers you or your children again, she can rot in jail where quite frankly, she belongs.

You are such a strong woman. I would have wrung her neck.

I'm with Steve- legal confrontation, if at all. This person is obviously out of her freaking mind, so I believe contacting her personally will only satisfy her demented state of thinking while hurting you further. The subject matter is already devastating and she involved your kids..this has all the emotional elements of an attempted murder. Please don't do it. Since you have decided to rebuild, place all your energy into that. I know its easier said than done, good luck w/everything

I'm thinking that once she's completely out of our lives, it will help; but there are complications. When we met her, she was a single mom of 2 teenage boys looking to rent a house we own. Long story short, we ended up writing a sales contract and holding the mortgage for 2 years until she could get her credit straightened out and buy the house. Then she told us that she had terminal cancer (last Christmas, which was 2 months after my husband ended it), and of course, not knowing that she'd been having an affair with my husband, I told her to not worry about the payments until she was well. We haven't seen a dime since, and I learned that the cancer was just a ruse, more to get my husband to feel guilty than anything else. Soooo, now we're in the process of an eviction. By "we", I mean "me", because the therapists say that having my husband involved at all just fuels her behavior. She's contacted employers and friends and churches, (even the real estate agent who wrote our contract for us!) telling everyone who will listen that my husband is a cheater, and she thought we were getting a divorce or she never would have had anything to do with him. It's a freakin' Jerry Springer episode.

I think it's punching me in the gut this week, because of the holiday, and remembering that this time last year I was making a holiday basket for her, and inviting her over for a holiday party, etc. etc. I feel like such a fool that I didn't see what was happening.

Wow. Your h picked a bunny boiler. What a peice of work! I can see why you would want revenge on her skank ass. Here is the thing, she is losing everything and franticly trying to grab anything to stay afloat/ drag down with her. You should remain safely on the high road. It seems life is going to take care of this bitch without you doing a thing. Her running around telling people, lying about having cancer, it will only show everyone the truth, she is a crazy bitch. You do get to evict her. I wish I could do that to OW!!!!

I agree, in such a complicated situation you should probably do nothing personal. Legal yes. But don't call her or anything. I had dreams of beating the daylights out of the OW and that satisfied a little something inside of me. She knows how I feel about her. I am not quiet about it with others. It also helped me to write a letter that I didn't send. I wrote one to each of them. I held nothing back and was not polite, which I normally would be. I let loose the animalistic pain and agony in a litany of insults and curses. It helped a bit to "say" it, even if just to paper.
And btw, she ruined her own life. She will be taken care of (by God, or karma, however you choose to view it) and hopefully you will be around to sit back and watch. A person who does these things will not go untouched, believe me.
You ARE the better person...Rise Above!

You are so right Mim!

I just have to go back to lying about having cancer. I watched my mother slowly waste away for 5 years before the cancer finally took her. I just can not imagine what type of person would lie about having cancer. It is so sick, and it is not the first time I have read on here that an OW lied about having it. Personally, I would be afraid of the karma, or god saying cancer huh? You want cancer? Youwant sympathy because you have cancer? Ok bam! You have cancer. What a sick person she must be. Your h must be especially ashamed for bringing this person into your lives.

I agree w/ everthing I have read. She sounds desperate....duh, right?lol@me! In most casesOW doesn't have much to lose and just likes to sit back and watch the fallout. This OW is different in that she had so much to lose.....Her home! I just can't believe someone could betray intentionall the hand that feeds them.... Delusional is what she is. Justugh, Don't say a word to her. I had it out a little thru texting w/ alleged OW and trust me I got way more hurt and fell into a deep depression because. Panic attacks... the whole 9. She just rambled and rambled and contradictcted herself several times. She sent me about 30 texts that were amazingly insensitive. I finally told her if she continued to harass me that I would involve the law. She stopped. How do you feel about him being in a treatment facility? Are you concerned that he is just trying to gain sympathy and have to answer for less or at least put off the inevitable.... sending you support. We all understand how thin feels

OMG, I'm so glad to hear this isn't that uncommon (the faked cancer, etc.). I've just been thinking that this is the craziest thing in the whole world.

The day I found out.....and if you've never had your children AND your ex-husband sit you down to tell you that your husband is having an affair, you just haven't lived.......I did send her a text to tell her that I knew, so she could stop contacting my children now, and she sent an onslaught of over 300 text messages. Like lisette, there were many contradictions, and I just didn't reply. She finally stopped the next morning.

As much as I was mortified that my ex knew, the truth is, my kids had to turn to someone, and he handled it well, and was a good support to them. My husband and I have been married since my kids were young, so they consider him an equal parent.

My son, God love him, when all 3 kids got the emails and pictures on the same day, changed his sisters' email accounts, and told the OW that she needed to stay away from his family. So mature.

My husband had already started going to therapy before I found out about this. I thought he was having some sort of mid-life thing, but he'd fallen into a depression when he realized what a mess he'd made, and was working with the therapist on how to move forward. When he found out the OW had begun broadcasting to the whole world, he just fell apart. He was in patient for a couple of weeks, but is home now and sees his psychologist once week. Once he's really stable, we'll start marriage counseling.

I'm trying to hold it together; I don't want to rant at him because mentally and emotionally, he's still very fragile. I don't want my kids being my support system. I don't want to spill my guts to friends, because I don't want to expose any more of this cesspool than has already been strewn about by the OW.

When I think back to the situation at the end of March, when I found out, I see clearly that things are sooooooo much better; but there are days when I just want to crawl under the covers and cry. Other days, I want to make a scrapbook of the photos she sent to my kids, and deliver them to her sons on their 18th birthdays. That's HORRIBLE, and I would never do that, but I THINK IT. I want to call HER boss and expose her. I want to gather up all the "there's nothing more the doctors can do, so I went to pre-plan my funeral" emails and SUE HER for ....something. I want to walk up to her and call her every name in the book.

But I don't want to be that person. I don't want this to turn me into someone I'm not proud of.....yet I feel like if I don't go on the offensive, I'm being a doormat. I feel like I have a dual personality.

Omg!!! That is crazy. I still think it's uncommon for people to lie about having cancer. I read another story on here where an OW did and I actually went to high school with a guy who did. He shaved his head and stuff... There are just some crazy people in this world. I can understand giving your h some time to bounce back a bit, but damn, it has to be so hard not to just kick his ass!!

Find out what and if there is a statute of limitations on this kind of civil suit, for your own peace of mind and then let time go by. You can always sue her later if you still feel it is appropriate once you have gained some perspective and healing. You may feel very differently in 6 months. A law suit might feel really good right now but it will divert much emotional and psychic energy away from the more important matters in your life: you, your children and your H...probably in that order.

DOUBLE WOW - please be the better person but oh my - when kids are involved adult children or not, your own sons/daughters, - LOOK THE HELL OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Take the high road. Do what you need to do legally to get her out of your house. You have what she wants and will never have. I believe your husband has learned his lesson. I hope the two of you can repair the marriage and move forward.