Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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Different cheater but same OW?!?

HopeOpera
HopeOpera
But this time around it's one of my best friends with the same person who had the affair with my husband). As far as I was aware and being told by BFF "I've cut all ties and contact with her since I found out about the affair! You're my best friend I don't want anything to ever do with her again." Then I come to find out this past year and a half she has still been hanging out with the OW and lying to me the entire time.

I just don't get it? Maybe because my CS and I are working on our marriage and I have been able to work towards forgiving him she felt like what she was doing should be easily forgiven as well?

I haven't confronted her about it because I truly don't want to hear the lies and back-peddling. I'm so done. What's the saying..."What you allow is what will continue."

Just feel like I've been cheated on all over again and I can't believe it's the same OW as it was with my husband?
Anyone else have this triangle thing turn into a square? Or where someone you know is playing both sides?
As always thanks for listening
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yikes! What a betrayal!
deleted_user
deleted_user
People are the company they keep
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have that problem also because my CS's OW is a family friend of my in law's and when husband moved out he went to stay by his sister's. That day she messages me and told me that she was sorry for taking him in and that she still wanted her and I to stay close. I told her yeah I'd like that also. She also told me that she would not allow the OW to be with my H at her house. She told me that she was very angry with her since she was also married and my sister-in-law also is friend's with OW's husband.

Anyways, turns out that was all a bunch of crap cause I found out that OW was over there last Friday night. And I really don't care, I realize that they are going to see each other, thus the affair. But, I feel betrayed since she flat out lied to me!

I don't know if people really realize what they are doing when they are doing it. Seriously, people need to think about things they say before they say them. I mean. don't say things unless you really mean them.
UUGGGHHHHH!!!!!
I feel your pain!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Gross. Sounds like she probably has a history of being the other woman.

Sorry you're going through this. Some people are just creepy.
HopeOpera
HopeOpera
Thanks everyone for the insight and I know I have to let it go and move on for my own sanity and peace but it's hard because it's like one more casualty of this damn affair. Who knows though maybe I'm looking at it the wrong way and instead of it being another casualty it's actually a blessing because now I know exactly who has my back and who never did?
Sandcastlefaith
Sandcastlefaith
That's a good way of looking at it, Hope. Part of healing is making sure you have a dependable supportive network around you, and weeding out the chaff is a part of the process--no need to invest your energies into someone who cannot reciprocate.
DeliAnnem
DeliAnnem
I'd feel betrayed, too.

That stinks. Good riddance, I say.
HopeOpera
HopeOpera
One of the worst things is that hubby wants to go off on BFF for betrayal but we all know he can't because he doesn't have a leg to stand on when it comes to that! And then I waffle back and forth because I feel like if I can forgive hubby why can't I forgive BFF? but difference is hubby came clean did a complete 180 and has never ever made me question his fidelity and loyalty since dday where as bff? Yup, been lying for the past year and a half and still hasn't fessed up about it. So I guess between all the great input here (thanks so much) and processing through writing, I have my answer. I don't have any room in my life for any more lies or betrayal, been thru too much already to ever have to revisit that crap ever again, especially dealing with the same OW, ughh.