Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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Mauszer 10/29/2009

I was hoping maybe to get a woman's perspective here...

Ever since the A, my wife has often cried after achieving the big O. She says it is because she feels so much love for me, that it just overflows and she becomes very emotional. I had seen her do this maybe once or twice prior to the A, but now it is like every time we make love.

It is true, we do share a much closer emotional connection now, but the obsessive, mistrusting side of me wonders if she is instead crying because of guilt or memories of sleeping with this OM (even though she swears she never touched him). I know that after sex my mind often turns to thoughts of the affair, which in some cases has scared me so much that I have avoided sex.

Blanca116 10/29/2009

As you know women are very emotional. My guess is that she is crying because she feels so close to you at that moment and is thankful that she is still with you after the affair. I wouldnt think it has any bad intentions to do with the affair.

deleted_user 10/29/2009

My husband was the one who had the affair and we are trying to work things out. I cry almost every time we have sex or afterwards because I always wind up thinking of his affair and the betrayal. I'm having such a hard time with this. It's killing me. I'm almost crying now just typing this.

Mauszer 10/29/2009

I'm sorry to hear that :( I do the same thing... I always always end up obsessing after sex, and unfortunately the better the sex, the more painful the obsessions... It almosts feels like everything her and I share is or has also been shared with the other man.

Mauszer 10/29/2009

And Jackiee, I see you just joined. I would say welcome to the group, but I think every last one of us would say we wish we would never have been given a reason to come here. I'm glad you found a place to get support though. Let us know if there is anything we can help with.

deleted_user 10/29/2009

i almost always cried after having sex with my husband, although i hid it from him (i was the one who had the affair) because I felt so sad and so mean for betraying him the way i did. i was so ashamed. still am.

deleted_user 10/29/2009

i do cry very emotionally after we make love. my husband often wonders if im crying out of guilt or that i am thinking of the OM..sometimes i am not sure. love, guilt, shame, emotions they play on us bad.

Mauszer 10/29/2009

Not sure if that makes me feel better or not. My biggest fear is that she has lied to me about it never being physical... I spent so much time away on business that it would have been very easy. I just don't want to be lied to anymore. At this point, it just adds insult to injury.

deleted_user 10/29/2009

Thanks for the welcome even though I wish that I didn't need to be here. My husband is the one who shld feel the guilt but I'm the one crying. His lies just make me sick and I don't know how to ever trust him again. Everything makes me think of them together. Every time I see a picture of us I think that they were together during this or that event. It's really the worst thing I've ever gone through and I hate him for it.

Lstecker 10/30/2009

I think, personally, that I would accept that answer as to why she is crying. That is a pretty strong response to keep pulling out of the hat. If it were once? I would question it, but every time? Maybe not.

Just my two cents...L~

deleted_user 10/30/2009

My W cries too, I have the same question. Sorry to say that I never asked her as I wouldn't expect an honest response. She may well give me one but as you point out how do I know? for the past 2+ years during our infrequent sex all I can think of is "She was doing this with him" I can't enjoy it at all, I can't get past the mental part!

Sorry
Soulstorm

deleted_user 10/30/2009

The thought of sex makes me cry.. I know that he had two affairs over the last year and this I only found out a few weeks ago and came as such a shock as i thought we were ok. We went away for a few days on our own in the summer and the sex was great getting better all the time. We have been together for over 27yrs so there are slumps now and again.
I know he had sex with both women , the last was a glamour model and was 22 yrs old.. I just feel so old and frumpy and have told him that he will have to give me time. My confidence has been knocked back SO much , i am crying just typing this. I just wish i was young and beautiful.

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