
Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

bigguy3
I have read a lot of posts by people that have cheated on their spouse. There seems to be a common theme. Most of the time, the cheater shifts blame - my spouse was neglectful, didn't pay attention to me, was an alcoholic (or other addict), spent too much time at work, was away from home too much, was inconsiderate, didn't provide me with the emotional support that I needed, didn't provide me with the intimacy that I needed, spent too much money or didn't allow me to spend money, etc., etc., ad naseum.
These are all wonderful reasons to not be happy with your spouse and to be disenchanted with your marriage. However, NONE of these reasons is an excuse to search for what is missing outside of the marriage. How many of the people that have cheated on their spouse actually talked to their spouse and told them how they felt. I'm not talking about hints, or a few arguements about not getting your needs met. I am talking about complete, brutally honest communication where you tell them the why's of your unhappiness. If your spouse is unwilling to listen to you, ignores you, or brushes you off as being "overly emotional", then file for divorce before you seek support in the arms of another.
The emotional damage that is caused by infidelity is HUGE ... even for us men that are supposedly "not be in touch with our emotional side." Infidelity tears at the heart. It shatters trust ... and that trust can be nearly impossible to re-establish and will NEVER be the same as it was. What is worse, is that the trust that can't be repaired in the failed relationship becomes very difficult to re-establish in a new relationship as well.
I wish more people were honest with themselves and their spouses before they CHOOSE to be selfish and cause so much suffering. Perhaps it is a personality flaw in cheaters that they are unable to see the damage that they will cause and are incapable of having any compassion for the people they have hurt.
I guess I will never know. I am one of those left to figure out why it was so hard to talk to me and left to try and mend a broken heart and find a way to open my heart to someone else and risk placing that shattered trust in the hands of another.
These are all wonderful reasons to not be happy with your spouse and to be disenchanted with your marriage. However, NONE of these reasons is an excuse to search for what is missing outside of the marriage. How many of the people that have cheated on their spouse actually talked to their spouse and told them how they felt. I'm not talking about hints, or a few arguements about not getting your needs met. I am talking about complete, brutally honest communication where you tell them the why's of your unhappiness. If your spouse is unwilling to listen to you, ignores you, or brushes you off as being "overly emotional", then file for divorce before you seek support in the arms of another.
The emotional damage that is caused by infidelity is HUGE ... even for us men that are supposedly "not be in touch with our emotional side." Infidelity tears at the heart. It shatters trust ... and that trust can be nearly impossible to re-establish and will NEVER be the same as it was. What is worse, is that the trust that can't be repaired in the failed relationship becomes very difficult to re-establish in a new relationship as well.
I wish more people were honest with themselves and their spouses before they CHOOSE to be selfish and cause so much suffering. Perhaps it is a personality flaw in cheaters that they are unable to see the damage that they will cause and are incapable of having any compassion for the people they have hurt.
I guess I will never know. I am one of those left to figure out why it was so hard to talk to me and left to try and mend a broken heart and find a way to open my heart to someone else and risk placing that shattered trust in the hands of another.
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It is that "lack of thought" that is the pinnacle of frustration for those of us that were cheated on. For me, the choice to willingly do something that you know is wrong doesn't compute. You may not realize that damage and pain that it will cause at the time, but you do KNOW that it is wrong and choose to follow through and "just let it happen".
Perhaps it is the euphoria of being with someone that makes you feel special. The thrill of doing something forbidden and hoping you don't get caught. However, I think I would feel some exhiliration and excitement by stepping into a street of speeding traffic and dodging the cars. It would be exciting and create a rush ... but I KNOW that I will get hurt and all those that love me will be hurt as well. It is a STUPID choice and the end result will always be bad.
My husband told me he didn't think I loved him or he loved me... I was not affectionate enough or had gotten fat and wasn't attractive to him.... All excuses! But he never told me these things before the affair....
He just threw me away like some old rag doll and went out and got another woman.... GREAT and wonderful he thought.... WELL, NOT ANY MORE!!
He ask me yesterday, when am I getting over this and going on with life....
I am going to tell him today, that the affair lasted 8-9 months and then he broke it off, it took him a year to get over her... so what does he think....
Just venting, I know but I get mad and hurt all over again at some statement like that from him....
We will never know the whys but I think it is because the only people who are important in their lives are themselves!!