Deledge- I have felt exactly as you do for a long time...he changed the rules. Though I haven't acted on it, I have come close early on after the "full reveal" with someone I dated while he and I were apart.
But my H knows it is still a possibility. And works hard every day not togive me a reason.
But that anger can burn you up inside and make you do crazy things. I chose not to do anything for me, not for his or our sake....so far.
Keep working on looking forward to where the two of you can be in yhe future and give credit for the good he does today (maybe not to him directly if u are not there yet, but acknowledge it as somethibg good inside you)
Stay strong and true to yourself.

@ justUGH...I think about it from time to time...revenge affair. I told her once that I wish she knew how it felt to hurt like this. yet to make any real move or anything...bu the thought does come up.

I have thought about but not to the point where I have. My W is very afraid of me cheating on her. The topic came up during MC and she said she would be devastated. Funny..

No they don't...I was out having a drink with a platonic guy friend once and my cheating husband ( now ex ) came into the bar I was at..After my friend went to the bathroom my ex came up to me and said" I knew you would do the same thing to me some day"..Umm no..I was just having a drink with a friend..I knew not to cross that line..unfortunately he never did....

"WHY is it up to the person who DIDN'T cheat to save the marriage. Did the cheater think about the marriage/kids when they were cheating?????????" that has been my question all the way along, I didn't cheat, I warned him when I had the word of knowledge and I pray for protection on him and over him, and now he FULLY EXPECTS me to forgive him, and move forward back into our lives like nothing happened,so we can continue "our love story" as if this is how it was written in the first place...he is the one who constantly told me that "if you cheat, we are DONE!!!!!!!!!"

Thats a good question and almost a double standard.

I would never/I never did cheat while with the STBX (the 10 years we were married).

I might look from the menu - I'm a guy - but I would never order from the menu.

I would think any girl who would hit on a married dude would have some major internal issues going on inside her.

I do remember one girl who when I was in college that went after married men - young girl - and everyone was like - that girl has problems.

Growing up she had some messed up things happen to her and I guess going with married men was her guarantee of no commitment? She was a messed up chick though.

I believe that if your CS shows true remorse then they will always have that feeling like you could cheat and pay them back at anytime and they will live with the guilt of what they did. Evening the score is always a possiblitly but if they are working it out - then perhaps everyone has learned a lesson.

If there is no chance of working it out - then your moving on as best you can.

To me - the whole thing is just so freakin dumb - its like what is 2 + 2 and their answer = umm 7? no idiot.... You cheat and your destory the whole foundation (the family unit)/trust etc and karma will come get you and your reputation is ruined and its all for who and what?

I really don't think you can do anything more dumb.