Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
I'm going to start by saying that I have no clue where to post this (this forum or the abuse forum), but here goes. My H has been working out and training for a few years and now races bicycles competetively. He's gotten REALLY lean and spends a LOT of time looking at himself in the mirror. He's always making comments about how fast and how good he is and other stuff like this.
Sometimes, he can carry on for quite sometime about this. He says that he's really confident, but I can't help but think he's (a bit) arrogant.
Also in this, he's very critical of others, especially me! I don't have the discipline nor the time to train as much as he does. The household must be run and our child taken care of (but he doesn't understand this) -- I should be able to work out like he does. He also criticizes everything that I eat or do. I have almost had an anxiety attack in a restaurant because I wanted to order something that I feared he would not approve of. He's always saying things to bring me down. My therapist says that he's feeding my inner critic (and she's a really bitch) with what he's doing to me. He told me the other night that I didn't look as good as I thought I did. That really hurt. He's always telling me how to "get skinny" and I am by no means "fat".
I feel like he constantly looks down on me and thinks he's better than I am. I really want to put him in his place. Is it right to start biting back though?
Sometimes, he can carry on for quite sometime about this. He says that he's really confident, but I can't help but think he's (a bit) arrogant.
Also in this, he's very critical of others, especially me! I don't have the discipline nor the time to train as much as he does. The household must be run and our child taken care of (but he doesn't understand this) -- I should be able to work out like he does. He also criticizes everything that I eat or do. I have almost had an anxiety attack in a restaurant because I wanted to order something that I feared he would not approve of. He's always saying things to bring me down. My therapist says that he's feeding my inner critic (and she's a really bitch) with what he's doing to me. He told me the other night that I didn't look as good as I thought I did. That really hurt. He's always telling me how to "get skinny" and I am by no means "fat".
I feel like he constantly looks down on me and thinks he's better than I am. I really want to put him in his place. Is it right to start biting back though?
what about marriage counseling?
He says that he's in therapy so he can be better and more successful at work and racing. Not the intended outcome...
However, he has changed in so many ways. He used to never get attention from other girls and women- and now gets it more frequently. He LOVES it and gets all cocky about it. He spends hours in front of the mirror sometimes flexing. He's always wanting me to tell him how buff he looks, notice if he's lost more weight, and comment about how sexy he is. It is very arrogant.
In addition, he has NO compassion for overweight people. He says it's their own fault and calls them lazy and makes horribly rude comments. I am a bit overweight and this pregnancy- let's just say it hasn't helped. He constantly makes comments about how when I have this baby, I should loose all of this weight and we can be a "hot couple." It makes me very irritated.
He obviously doesn't realize how these actions are making you feel. I would have him sit down at a time you two aren't fighting and tell him that it makes you feel bullied and unworthy when he puts you down and tells you to get skinny. Tell him that you respect the fact that he is able to train but you shouldn't feel pressure to do so from him- he should love and support you exactly how you are!
My boyfriend and I are going to couple's counseling together. You have said that he refuses to go- I would try and insist. I'm not sure how effective that will be, but maybe try and negotiate a deal with him.
"I think you are lovely just as you are"
"when I hear the song Wonderful Tonight (Eric Clapton) I will always think of you"
"you are everything I ever wanted in a woman"
What a difference my bf has made to my self esteem I cant even begin to put into words. I think your guy needs to hear that his put downs are not acceptable and that you deserve far more!!
Kristy- I've told him how these comments make me feel. I think he realizes but does not care. (((HUGS))) to you. Please, please don't put too much pressure on yourself after baby is born. It's so difficult just to make it for the first few months, unless you have a really strong support network, and I hope you do! I still don't have my pre-baby body (belly) back, and while I want to be ok with it, I can't because of him and his affair with a much younger, much more fit girl.
Hazi - you are incredibly lucky to have such a supportive and affectionate person in your life. :)
I would say do what you can to find and look after your inner strength. Nothing is more influential and attractive than a noble spirit. He will notice it and see how immature he has been acting.