Hey DS Family, missed you guys so much and really and truly hope all is well with everyone I bonded with. So, Im here to speak my peace about cheaters and women/men who knowingly enter a marriage or relationship as a side piece or harlot under the disquise of a listening ear or shoulder to lean on. Been single/celibate 3 years now. Wanted to find out who I was, before I attempted to waste anymore of my precious time on someone unworthy. Although, I meet guys daily without any effort of my own, Im really choicy and have higher standards I refuse to falter on. Thus, my singleness and celibacy. So I meet this guy, who almost had an accident being too focused on me and not on the road. He wasnt exactly my type, but Im a loner, havent been out in ages, and simply put...I get lonely sometimes. Im human. So, He ask for my number and I oblige. He calls me the next day and claims to be in the area and ask to stop by. Perhaps, im getting old, but I look at the time (its 10 pm), and my first thought is..really dude..wrong chick. So when he called back after wrapping up his errands, I didnt answer phone. Well we finally get together. During the getting to know you phase, my first question to him was, "As handsome as you are, your great career, and having obtained financial stability, why arent you married or at minimum spoken for"? His response was he has a 5 year old with a woman he has been with 10 years, he hasnt been with anyone else that he would even consider marrying, but (FAMOUS LINE) She is not the one. He went on to state that he works 12 hrs a day, 6 days aweek, SHE DOESNT WORK, YET...he comes home daily to unclean house, no dinner, and nagging that she wants to go out as if he hasnt worked 12 hours today. After interrogating him (lol), learned that they live in HIS HOUSE, he CLAIMS he resides in bottom half while she lives on top floor. SHOULD HAVE STOPPED HIM THERE AND TOLD HIM NO THANKS. BUT, we are simple getting acquainted, so we talk here or there on the phone. This goes on for a month and a half. He stops by here or there, but didnt pay too much attention that it never exceeded an hour. One day, my nowc3 year old is here and lies down for a nap, so of course Im going to do the same, while the getting is good. I place my phone on vibrate, as not to disturb my baby and slumber myself. Well, I wake up at 2 am to go to bathroom, and I have several missed calls, and a mean text, "Your just like all the rest"! I text back, asking what the heck is he talking abt, and he immediately calls. Hes pissed stating, hes called, drove by several times, and saw several cars outside my building and blah, blah, blah. I cut him off and say, I told you Im single and have nothing or no-one to hide, and I reminded him that I told him if he was ever in the area he could stop by. Before I could remind him good, he said okay, hung up, and knocked on door? Okay, so maybe I should have ran right then, but Im woman enough to admit, I was blind, thinking ...hey hecreally likes me and this is getting serious. STILL BLIND..LOOKING AT HIM THROUGH ROSE COLORED SUNGLASSES. So weve been on several dates, dinner, a bar- b-que, and I met his father, his brother, and a few friends. Then one day he shows up at my door without calling, and says. He stopped by cause he was going out to grab some dinner and wanted to ensure my son and I had eaten, which we had not. We went and got take out and he dropped us off right back at home. So now Im swooning, cause in my mind (the FOG), he didnt have to do that but he did. Hes showing genuine concern for me and my child. Im getting attached. Well my emotions kick in, which has my mind churning and I realize..HE ONLY STAYS A MAXIMUM OF 1 HOUR whenever he stops by. But ALL his phone conversations are about how much he enjoys me, misses me, the plans for the future, etc. Oh, his 5 year olds mother, is supposedly moving 1st of the year. Now let me just say, usually once a guy says he lives with someone or Im seeing someone (dating) on a regular..I dnt bother..but with him consistently coming by, calling, the dates...I entered a FOG and didnt even think about that until after he did that. Being aware of my emotions now, I start to question our direction and plans. His response, why am I rushing, mif its meant to be we will be, he wrks so much all he has time forbis rest and what I have deamed "Drivebys". Again, Im celibate, so no sexual activity has taken place. Only hugs and a few pecks when he leaves. So one particular day, I let him know, Ive noticed the drive bys, I dnt like them, either it changes or our friendship ends. So he replies lets go out to dinner and things will change. So while waiting on our order, We are talking, im voicing my concerns, hes giving excuses and he says, " C Im really starting to care for you, I see a serious future with us, but what is the rush"? So now, Im on alert. Its been 2 months, no sexual contact 35 to 50 minute drive bys and Im rushing? HMMMMMMMMMMMMM? Did I mention my name is C______ and NOT WILHELMINA LUMP LUMP!!! So, while we are verbally sparring, hes fidgeting around with his phone and he says, because I care for you, I want to be honest, and shows me a picture of a baby, that only 2 weeks old. SO THE 5 YEAR OLDS MOTHER, THE ONE MOVING OUT AT THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR, WHO RESIDES UPSTAIRS, WHO HE HASNT HAD SEXUAL CONTACT WITH FOR 8 MONTHS (I GUESS NOT CAUSE SHE WAS PREGNANT).....just had another baby with him!!!! Needless to say atvthat very moment, mthe waitress sets our orders on the table. I imnediately tell her my appetite is ruined and make itvto go. His response is, " What is it about females that make us act a certain way about a baby"? I really wanted to putvmy entire foot, ankle, and leg up his rectum!!!! Long story short...since then we have only verbally spoken twice. I kindly blocked his number, it will only ring once and goes directly to voicemail. (Its a cheap phone so it doesnt do any better). I dont return calls or texts. There is a lot more to this story..but Ive already written a book. The pertinent information is, I THINK I live him (or perhaps Im in lust cause Ive been alone so long), but REGARDLESS of whatever it is Im feeling, I dnt deal with him. Oh, he has a bunch of great excuses, still hollering shes moving (DUDE IS DUMB AS HELL....DOES HE REALLY THINK THAT)!!?...HELL NO, HE'S JUST HOPING I WILL. Calls my phone consistently several times a day..I guess hoping one day soon, I'll unblock him. Moral of my story...I HAD A CHOICE. I HAVE A CHOICE. Would I want this done to me, being a new mom..clueless to what my man is doing while Im home raising his children? Hell no!!! Do I love him/miss him...Yes. But I place myself in her shoes. More than likely hes lying about her/her ways. The fog is clearing....BUT I HAVE A CHOICE....and I dont choose to be happy at someone else's expense. SO WITH ALL THAT BEING SAID..MESSAGE TO CHEATERS WHO COME HERE TO GAIN SYMPATHIES OR TO EXPLAIN AWAY THEIR GUILT. YOU HAD A CHOICE.....ALL YOU THOUGHT OF WAS SELF. YOUR THRILLS, YOUR HAPPINESS. WHAT A SHAME! ALTHOUGH I MISS HIM, I SLEEP WELL AT NIGHT, I SOW GOOD DEEDS, AND IN THE END IM A WINNER.....WHAT SAY YOU?