Oh, I think there are some that learn and don't cheat again. There are more than a few on here.

Me? I agree with you that I would not go thru it twice. When it did happen again? I didn't kill him - I divorced him.

Hang in there, Italian...L~

We have to believe that. Why else would we give them a second chance? It will always be a possibility I think, but to have hope it won't just keeps me going. My h's constant love and reassurance helps too.

I have to believe my H won't do it again. When I found out about the 2 hookers AFTER I found out about the LTA and we were separated, I told him, ok you think the hookers should be easy for me to get over, ok, you do it again, I will drive down the street and pay some strange man to give me oral and expect that you'd be ok with it too then right? He changed his tune then as well......
Said even if I had been w/ another man while he was having A or even when he was LIVING WITH THE hor - it would have been a deal breaker, he couldn't have come back home, no matter how much he loved me (how much? He cheated 3 times!!!) Ugh I don't know - I just don't get it sometimes. But knowing how much he did hurt me, and knowing what it did to me, if he does it again, then he just doesn't care enough about me for me.... and I don't care how much I love HIM - he won't be worthy of my love and I'll have no choice but to move on.... Yes it's scary, but I have to have my mind set that I hope it works, if he screws up again, he's gone, and that's the only way I can survive. I even told him that if he wasn't willing to work on it to go now, I don't want to die alone, and I don't want to die unhappy, so if he doesn't think he can be faithful and be what I need, I need him to at least be honest enough to go and go now, so I can find something / someone that can make me happy before I die... will it break my heart again? Sure, but it's still not mended from him anyway......

my H claims to never cheat again...but i dont get the impession its because he loves me so much or he doesnt want to hurt me again....i feel more like he MITE not would because he is to scared of losing our son and this baby on the way..... i dont feel like its for me, but more for his "family,house,ect"....i pray one day that i dont feel like that any more!!!!!!! but rite know thats exactly how i feel!!!!!!

What I have learned is no matter how much they tell you they love you and will never cheat again and do not want to hurt you again those are only WORDS. Afterall, wasn't that part of their marriage vows in the first place?

its best not to kill them. One, there's that whole death penalty/life in prison thing. Secondly, if you let them live, you get to see the pathetic choices they make unravel on them someday. That's even better.

Sorry to hear this happened.