Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
My husband and I are trying to work on our marriage. I posted about his infidelity last week. Quick recap, affair with 21 yr old girl via phone, internet, texts that lasted for 3 months. Caught him on the 12th he said it was a mistake and he wanted to work on our marriage. Caught him the following week, and found out that he had never stopped talking to girl. We split up...
However last Thursday he asked if he could talk to me. Said he loved me, didn't want to lose me, couldn't live without me...and it felt so good to hear him say that. This past Sunday morning I caught him on the Poker website again, the one I told him I didn't want him to ever visit again, he said he was just playing and that the girl messaged him asking how his wife and kids were. I was pissed, yet too desperate to leave. I put controls on his smartphone and blocked all apps. I was looking over our phone bill today and saw that he's trying to contact AT&T, our phone carrier. I have no idea why, but now I'm completely paranoid. It's all I can think about. I feel like I'm losing it....
Am I a fool?
However last Thursday he asked if he could talk to me. Said he loved me, didn't want to lose me, couldn't live without me...and it felt so good to hear him say that. This past Sunday morning I caught him on the Poker website again, the one I told him I didn't want him to ever visit again, he said he was just playing and that the girl messaged him asking how his wife and kids were. I was pissed, yet too desperate to leave. I put controls on his smartphone and blocked all apps. I was looking over our phone bill today and saw that he's trying to contact AT&T, our phone carrier. I have no idea why, but now I'm completely paranoid. It's all I can think about. I feel like I'm losing it....
Am I a fool?
How are you dealing with the emotions of it?
It's one thing to try to get past indiscretions that are behind you with a truly sincere spouse. It's another to subject yourself to the same deceptions & manipulations over & over.
Iask yourself WHY you've had to put the controls on phone. Why hasnt HE stopped the behaviors on his own? Because he doesnt want to, honey. I'm so sorry but this is the clear truth.
Be strong and end this.
This thing is going to be a roller coaster ride. Just stay on top of it best you can and take care of yourself and those kids.
He doesn't see the damage that this does to your marriage? His lying and hiding stuff from you? His texting another woman and lying to you about it? He sees nothing wrong with this?
Really, does he have a tumor or somethin'?
I would have to say, 'These are the items that I need for US to continue. If you can't do it, no hard feelings and let me know.' You have every right to do that. It's your life too. Just because he sees nothing wrong with it and you do - Good Lord, you could argue about this forever. The point is? You find it UNACCEPTABLE. If he wants to continue?
Options are...
Stay and ignore it
Leave
Sending you support, L~