I don't have the porno nightmares, but I do wake up in the middle of the night, wide awake, not quite knowing what to do. Even if I manage to sleep thru the night, I still wake up with the OW on my mind, and that really gets me upset. It reminds me of John Maher's song.."when you're living with a broken heart, waking up is the hardest part.."

I try to get my mind off of this with a rapid and repeated prayer. God will always be there for us. Try to gather strength in Him. Try to force your mind into thinking about something else. Maybe have that "something else"thought of in advance so that you can direct your mind to it when needed.

I went through a year of insomnia over this amongst other reasons. The only advice I have is to clear your mind of "all shit them" before you fall asleep. Watch a funny movie, read a book, etc. The last thought before you fall off to sleep should NOT be them. Easier said than done, I know, I know... but worth a shot.

my nightmares are not about them but about many other things beyond my control. i did not have these nightmares before the affair so i have to say the affair triggered them. some nights a sweat profusely then can't start my day untill i throw up. the throwing up part seems symbolic. basically i sleep very poorly now and am exhausted all day.

MorganTX: I can't say that I wake up due to nightmares but I do wake up & I have to turn my mind off so I don't think about OW with H. The first year since knowing, I was only getting about 3 hrs sleep each night because I couldn't fall asleep due to crying & then when I finally feel asleep, it was time to get up. But I also had a newborn I was attending to so at least I was used to the 3 hrs a night because I couldn't sleep during the 6 mos he was involved with her yet I didnt know it yet. I knew something was wrong but stupid me...I never thought he was cheating. So much for trust.

Anyway, I still have thoughts first thing in morning when i get up & it is difficult to remove them. Sometimes I let them play out & then I cry, then I am able to put it out of my mind for a while. It will get better. I am now 19 mos later able to go to sleep with minimal thoughts & sleep at least 5-6 hrs. But the thoughts first thing upon waking are still coming. Still working on that. I usually talk to myself & cuss her out in my mind which helps me.

Hang in there. They will get better. Not sure what to do about your nightmares. I don't usually dream. When you wake up from these nightmares, try turning on the tv to take your mind off of it & fall asleep with it on. That helps me too when my mind won't turn off of OW. My H has gotten up the next morning many times to find me asleep on the couch with the tv on & he knows that I was not able to sleep because of thoughts.

Try that & see if it helps. xoxoE

Thank God I don't anymore but for some weird reason My H does so I guess I'm insensitive saying this..... Thats what my H gets for F***ing around. Now he's afraid I'm gonna do the same... thats not my problem its his. Sorry!

You know it's funny that you mention this, I've been having nightmares and dreams non-stop lately......I agree w/ michelle I still wake up w/ all this crap on my mind.

I have them when im wide awake. The pictures in my head never stop. My thoughts never stop. Even when I sleep. My mind is racing. What can I do to save my marriage? What did I do wrong? What is he doing? Is he telling the truth to me when he says he loves me and wants it to work and hes sorry??? THe first few weeks the pictures and nightmares were worse. But since I know she is in Nebraska, I know hes not touching her... its gotten better... as long as i focus on something else. Havent slept more than 2-3 hours at a time...most times not even that. It does make you feel like your losing your mind. Its because you are physically and mentally and emotionally exhausted. Most days I throw up if I manage to eat. If i dont eat i still thow up..or my body tries to. I dont watch tv or listen to music b/c every song and story line remind me of something in this hell. I write in a journal when I cant sleep. Or get on here. Or lay there and cry. Or pray and beg God and cry. Or shake and cry. Or get up and puke. Havent found anything that works. Meds are helping some. Dr. doubled them Wednesday. Talk to your dr meds might help for a while. Good luck honey. And know you are not alone.

Fortunately, I rarely remember my dreams, because when I do remember them they are pretty much always bad! Since the OW stalked me briefly, I had horrible home invasion dreams for a few months! I still have frightening dreams, but since my STBX has been emotionally abusing me throughout our marriage my dreams are usually disturbing!

I'm awake because I'm too angry to sleep. Right now the exfiance is in my house with the evil whore. They are enjoying privacy that I am paying half the mortgage for. I hate them both. It is hard to sleep when you are so damn pissed off.

I texted him and asked if her eyes glow red in the darkness.

It has been three years, since I found out that my H had been cheating on me. I had and still do have nightmares much the same as you do...they aren't as frequent as they used to be, but I still have them. My H is very supportive of my moods (which he should be)but I still find it hard to trust him. I do believe that he hasn't had any contact or done anything in the last three years, but I still wonder if he would be tempted again. He tells that he "knows" definitely that he would not, that it was something that got out of control and he was sorry he even got involved......when I wake up with the dreams, I usually try to snuggle up to him and know that he is there with me.....they aren't as frequent as before, now only once a week or so........they used to be everynight.

Two years of knowing for me and I still have them frequently. I have them during the day too. They were together, her working as his secretary, for almost 2 years so some kind of betrayal, either kissing or sex was almost daily M-F. It's so hurtful for me. My H just wants to put it behind us. He gets upset w/ me if I bring it up. Very infrequently is he compassionate, most of the times, he'll just thrown something (like the paper down) and leave the room, with me crying. He says I'm trying to beat him up. Sooo sad.

Sometimes mine are about him and her; most often not though.

My nightmare and it is now a recurring one is that he and I are walking and holding hands. At some point we get to a spot where he has to let go of my hand and I have to walk by myself. I take a few steps, it becomes darker, and then I fall. That is when I wake up, while falling.

It doesn't necessarily sound that scary, but it terrifies me and I usually wake up screaming.

Don't really know what it means and I don't know how to get rid of it, but I wish I could. I have it about 3 nights a week now. You would think I would be used to it and it wouldn't affect me like that, but it does.

I know EXACTLY what you're talking about. I had them for almost 2 weeks and then I finally talked my doctor into giving me some Ambien. Without it, I could NOT sleep. I blame my H for putting this witch in my dreams. Before the ambien, I would sleep in intervals of MAYBE up to 2 hours at a time. It was HELL

I have not had the porno nightmares but lately I have been dreaming of the exact moment he told me everything that had happened in the last year and a half. The moment he was finally honest with me. And it just keeps replaying. He says do you really want me to tell you. I say yes. he says it and then off I run to puke. I was cooking dinner that night and that moment and i always am in my dream too. I am not sure how to help you with this since I am not sure how to help myself but I am here if you want to vent or talk.

I go to sleep with them and its the first thing I think about as I awaken!
Last week, I counted, I had a total of 8 hrs sleep in 3 nights.
I was almost sick, just trying to function. I own a business and I could barely move by the third day. I do take tylenol PM, but should maybe try a presciption. I know my dr. would give it to me.