Bethers, you actually answered this yourself. It just takes time. There's really no way around it. You're hurting and the pain is deep. And because you feel so strongly for him, the recovery period will be long. But you'll be ok.

Eventually, you'll hopefully realize that his departure is a good thing for you. One, you shouldn't want to be with someone who's not completely devoted to you. You deserve to be #1 in some man's eyes. And two, you have a chance to rid yourself of a repeat cheater. You don't want that going into a deep relationship and maybe even marriage.

Good luck and look to the future!

-TheRule

First off i want to commend you on leaving him. That was a good first step and an extremely hard one i'm sure. The next is the healing process. It will take time to heal from that. As i'm still in a relationship with an unfaithful partner, i've yet to reach that 'i don't deserve this' point. But i know your pain from past experiences. You'll be fine. Just try to stay positive, take things one day at a time, and know that good times will come.

"I am just so angry that he did this to me and its unfair that he is not dealing with any pain as I am. "

I hear you.

I broke up with my boyfriend last Monday, so I'm not qualified to answer this. I haven't moved on nor do I feel capable of moving on at the moment. But I know it will take time. I'm in no rush. I want to focus on myself. Be happy with being me again. And then I can start looking.

Hope things get better for you.

Thanks for the kind words and support. I am feeling better today, It was just a hard weekend....4 yr aniversary of the first time he told me he loved me. I didn't actually leave him, he left me I came home to an empty house. We communicated and he swore he wasn't seeing anyone and that he wanted to go to counseling and work on our relationship. I had even confronted the woman I thought he was seeing and she denied it too. Then a few weeks later I got confirmation of his affair at that point I stopped contact with him. I did confront him one last time and he still denied, until I showed him my proof. I guess they deserve each other. I did go on my date last night and I am so glad I did. I don't think I have ever met a kinder man. He even suggested we take things slow and become friends first so that I can have total trust in him. I am not sure how ready I am but to have someone even suggest they will wait for me to be ready tells me this one is special. Thank you all again....its such a rollarcoaster ride but I have faith that I will eventually get off!!!

Can't speed it up or slow it down.

Healing takes its own time.

Don't we wish we had that magic bullet to make it stop eating our own guts away? Sure we do, but it doesn't exist.

We're there for you along the way, L~

Good for you Bethers!! :O) This one does sound special, just be cautious so you don't pin to high a hope on this one just yet... I do hope it works out for you though... :O)

good luck!!

I am in a similar situation whereby we separated. But I still actually have a glimmer of hope that we may reconcile..Some days I cry others I just know I am healing but its hard.

In a month or 2 plan an escape interstate or away. It helped me so much. For now anyhow.....

I have the pain you have too. 2.5x months later..

Even after a wonderful weekend escape I still had and have him in mymi