Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
what a bitter, angry and sad support group this is. am I wrong, or are many of the writers searching for what they, the cheated on did wrong to bring it on, or why and how the cheater could be so cruel, selfish and uncaring? aren't some people torturing themselves by not just getting rid of the cheater and moving on emotionally?
the people I know, all men, who've been cheated on have not been able to overcome that hurt to their relationship. it basically meant the relationship was over except the paperwork. and it made sense to take it as a sign of something seriously wrong and end it.
what about the type of cheater who begins almost at day one of the marriage and never stops? isn't clear the problem is with the cheater, not the cheated upon? does that mean there was never any love for the spouse? is it a mental or character deficiency, or maybe a mental illness?
the people I know, all men, who've been cheated on have not been able to overcome that hurt to their relationship. it basically meant the relationship was over except the paperwork. and it made sense to take it as a sign of something seriously wrong and end it.
what about the type of cheater who begins almost at day one of the marriage and never stops? isn't clear the problem is with the cheater, not the cheated upon? does that mean there was never any love for the spouse? is it a mental or character deficiency, or maybe a mental illness?
You go through so many emotions when the world you knew is blown to bits by the one person in the world you trusted the most. It is beyond painful. All stages are normal but most people you know around you have not experienced this and they don't understand. When you find yourself here, amongst people who know and feel EXACTLY what you are going through you feel free to express what is bottled up inside you most days. Anger is a part of it and it is a part of the process you go through as you heal. We vent here because we can. Because people here get it and understand you have to express it and let it out in order to get to a healthy place again emotionally. This is a good thing.
Yes, to those who stumble upon this site and have little understanding of one of the worst kinds of pain you can go through, we may seem bitter and angry and vengeful. We are not. We are letting off steam, venting and getting the poison out of our system amongst our peers. This is a good thing and this is a healing place.
I wish healing for your friend and I wish understanding and compassion for you. I think your heart is in the right place. At least I hope it is.
Some have no choice but to stay. Some want to stay ( that doesn't lessen their pain). Some stay in limbo. Its everyone's OWN personal choice whether to stay or go ( plus oodles of other things go into it such as kids, time spent, money, career, blah blah blah).
The only ones who would generally piss me off are those that declare they hate their husband/wife for what they did, constantly berate them into small nothings and then say "I only have 100,000.00 in the bank". I haven't seen that here. Ever.
And I've seen some REALLY poor people walk away ( waving hand).
Whats it matter to you though, honestly lol?
Bitter, angry, sad are just a few of the emotions on this rollercoaster ride from hell that we were put on by our cheating spouses. We had no choice in the matter.
One things for sure I am not and never will be searching for what I did wrong to bring on the cheating as you put it.
I will/did however, take a long hard look at my part in the state of our marriage. But, the cheating? He owns that all by himself.
Cheaters are selfish, weak, character flawed, morally bankrupt individuals. You throw in a little addiction and narcissism for good measure on top of everything else and it's easy to see why relationships with these individuals end up going south.
If I didn't think my H loved me, or wasn't truly remorseful for his affair, I would of left him in a second. My gift of reconciliation is just that, a one time gift. In my game two strikes and your out.
I love all my bitter, angry, sad family members here at DS. We hold each other up on bad days and rejoice with them on the good days. They are full of love and compassion.
Prayers for ALL!
I feel bad for your friend but obviously he didn't know his bride very darn well if she could cheat on him after only 3 days, still on their honeymoon no less. My H cheated a few years into our marriage but we were on a rocky road at the time, I withdrew from him, we thought we were heading for divorce and he turned to someone else for comfort. The affair was brief, only a couple of months which I confirmed with OW and then his guilt got the best of him but he was able to hide it from me for 10 yrs and by the time he was able to tell me about it we had 3 kids together so it was over, we had kids, what was I to do???? So you see, things just aren't that simple. Have a good day.