Means you haven't found something real yet. Just like an affair is a superficial thing, something full of lust not love, something with no real substance that can be long term and ongoing, it runs it's natural course after a year or two. When the newness wears off, what you need is real love, real connection, real intimacy (more than sexual). Only then can you outlive the 2 year mark.

I have to agree, you have to find that special person, one that will knock your socks off.. Affairs are just that lust... real love, connection never wears off...

well not knowing your age...maturity will lend itself to "real" love, when you date are you looking for just what you get out of it or what you bring to each other, "real" love involves giving more than you recieve but by giving to the partner you recieve more than you give....love involves less selfish desire and more willingness to compromise for the better good, not becoming a door mat, but finding a place of peace and closeness in the relationship...we have been created to be a part of a couple, to balance and enhance each other to the greater good and service...find someone that shares some of your interests but open yourself to experience some things with and through another, as to compliment each other, balance, and a long term relationship takes work, NO MATTER HOW IN LOVE YOU ARE, it will always be about compromise, compassion, generousity, kindness, respect, honor and love....set that person apart from the others, show that you are sincere and committed not just for what you can get out of it, but for the long hall....watch The Notebook best to you

Maybe there is a mean average of length of affairs that falls into that time frame, but I've not seen any studies. Based on what I've seen here, and friends I've learned about, it is all over the map. Gabi's two affairs lasted for 2 months for the first one, he moved out of town which ended it. And 6-7 weeks for the second guy, not counting the other emotional online affairs. But if I hadn't found out, that second one would have lasted a lot longer, who knows how long. Meanwhile, I recall Redlegs saying her affair lasted for 9 years.

But, your idea does conform to one aspect. It takes somewhere between one to two years for a new "not normal" situation to begin to feel "normal." It would make sense that in that time frame, the newness would wear off. *If* someone had the affair for the new relationship rush, one would expect it to fall apart around that time. The AP would become more like a second, secret wife. But some people like stability, really fall in love, and want to stay together for the "security" of the relationship. So I think it depends on why the affair started for both of them, what they expected to get out of it.

Thank you for all your feed back - I should have been more clearer in a sense. I am the BS and I was married for 10 years until blind sided by my WS who then left for the crazy AP.

I found what I thought was true love - had 2 boys with my STBX - WS - then she went and settled into crazy town/emotional needs/ whatever else excitment roller coaster scernrio she is in right now - must like she is feeling a lot of guilt (she keeps saying people keep judging her) on her way down - about to crash and hit rock bottom - after the excitement and newness has warn off.

What I was referring to before I got married - the realtionships would always last 1 - 2 years tops with the girls I was with until my marriage and what I have read is most affairs last about that time period as well - before they implode - mainly due to its not new (shit gets old) - pressures the AP starts to put on the WS. WS is no longer a challenge and AP folk love challenges and not looking for real love - and just crazy town has a "shelf life" of 1 - 2 years until the "fog" is lifted and the devistation of the "drug" has warn off.

I was talking to a friend who went through an Affair and he cheated (WS) and he said - it truely is like a drug - he stole money - did stuff he would have never had done - lied about things and to people he would have never lied to before - blamed everyone but himself - all to get his fix - just like a person on drugs.

Just trying to figure out if others have the same thoughts on the timeframe or if others have heard/had different experiences.