Thank you so much for this! I know you were not speaking to me directly, but I truly feel you were speaking to my soul. I have just reached that point, mere moments ago. There is a part of me that wants to just go and go, but my lovely wife and I had a plan and I have to fulfill my end of it. We aren't equipped with "boy parts" so there is no chance of it happening "naturally". I am here in tears because your words are so beautiful and thoughtful. I intend to use this "break" to find myself again and prepare my body once again for the fight! Thank you again!!

I'm so so glad this touched you...I felt a little awkward about writing to no one & everyone at the same time! I was hoping SOMEONE would get help out of it. I can't imagine how hard it is knowing it will not happen naturally is, no matter what the reason is. It's odd how abruptly you can come to this point...it just hits you like a ton of bricks "Whoa, I need a break!". Even though you have a plan & these breaks are never planned, don't lose hope. Like I said, just because you're taking a break does not mean you're giving up...you'll still fulfill your end of it...you can & will. Be graceful with yourself & know that you deserve to be well. Whenever I took my last break I had an overwhelming amount of guilt...like I was keeping my hsuband's dream of fatherhood away from him even longer because of my own selfishness in needing a break. I spoke with him about & he said something I will never forget. He said, "YOU are enough." That's not all he said, but those three little words meant the world to me....and YOU also are enough! You know your dear wife will love you no matter what. Hopefully your break time flies by & you can't get back up to trying whenever you are ready!!

OH & yes, I did struggle with feeling selfish during my last break, but I want to be clear that taking a break is NOT selfish! At all! It is needed!! The moment you find yourself again & you feel a weight lifted off of your shoulder & you are ready to take a deep breath & try again, you'll know it was worth it. =) One thing that helped me get through my break & force myself to get well & remain patient before trying again before I was truly ready, was planning little fun & cheap dates that my husband & I would have done before we started this awful IF journey. We went on picnics, had "living room date nights" where we'd have a picnic on the living room floor, make a pallet, & cuddle to a movie, play games, or do both...we'd go on actual picnics, watch the sunset, just little random things. Maybe you & your wife would enjoy doing something along the same lines!

LOL I mentioned picnics 3 times...well whatever! We like picnics! HAHAHAHA =D

Those are great ideas! I'm going to make sure to plan lots of lil things for her. I think that we've both focused on me so much lately that she needs a lil pampering. I do feel slightly guilty, but it was actually dw that asked for a break after 3 iui's. We only did the 2. We've already got sperm if we change our mind. I just need to not think about it for a while. I will still be on here though to encourage those that have encouraged us! I'm still praying for lots of BFP's all around!

Wow...now you've got me crying! LOL I am so emotional these days. Hearing you say "she deserves to be pampered" just made me realize...the focus too has been on me for so long, since it's my infertility between DH & I. He deserves to have the focus on him as well. I keep getting bothered by how stoic he is some days & I just wish he would be more talkative with me about this & yet what about him?! I'm sure he would love to have attention spent on him! Not that I'm completely & utterly self-centered & just ignore him, but still...it would be nice to plan something nice that I know he would love. We've already decided if the IUI doesn't work next month that we'll take a break, for financial reasons & emotional reasons. But before then I know of a concert he is DYING to go to but I've been trying to avoid...thanks to you I've decided we will go! Thanks for inspiring me! It's apparent that you are very sweet & caring, we all appreciate you sticking around here for us even through your break!!

Thank you, tyrhondasaurus
I'm going to add this to my bookmark folder of reallly insightful, encouraging wisdom.... very well said.

When it comes from a gut/intuitive feeling, "taking a break" is one of the wisest decisions a couple can make, on the IF path.... IF can take a lot of things, but it can't take your soul, unless you let it; for some, that's not 'taking a break' when one's body/mind/spirit/significant other are screaming for you to.....

Also, you very beautifully articulated something, which is precisely where I'm coming from, with many of the posts I've shared and my journal entries, which is this:

If I only focus on the medical/physical "body only" side of things, but neglect the mind, the spiritual/philosophical, psychological, humorous-- then I run the risk of becoming one freakin' jaded, rude, shell of a person by the time I'm no longer on the IF path. Guess what-- I'm not about to let that sh*te happen to my family nor me. My husband I have made a vow to eachother, on this path, which is: we will leave NO stone unturned, in order to give this baby(ies) every possible opportunity to be born into this world, but what we will not EVER do is neglect eachother's wellbeing: mental, spiritual, psychological, etc.

The "body" side of things is only ONE of a great many facets that I feel I must devote my attention to, if I'm going to make it through this IF journey with my "Self" and my soul intact.........

I have my good days, (when I journal, read, make art, share knowledge with others) and I try to do it in a very well-rounded way: stuff about the mind, stuff about spirituality/philosophy, stuff about IF that makes me laugh so hard that I nearly spit out my drink! etc. etc., ---> because if I don't also focus on those things-- if I allow myself to remain fixated on the medical "body" side of things (which is usually negative) --then the outcome will be doubly devastating-- not only to my own spirit, but also to my family, and that potential baby(ies) that might be born; that's an insight that I'm not going to lose sight of, for the duration of my time on this IF 'trip'.

Fertiltude you have an excellent attitude! What an excellent addition to this post, thank you!! Your attitude encourages me!

I can't take complete credit. If anything, I feel like a big mirror; reflecting back to others what they've TAUGHT me! Being surrounded by the collective wisdom here...... Humbled and grateful don't even come close to describing how moved I am with you guys and dolls..... :-)

My guy would definitely agree with you re: my attitude.
So, I picked my username because I combined "fertility" + "FORTITUDE".
Later on, after I'd picked my username, my guy tells me: 'You know you got the right fertility attitude, girlie-- I'm just gonna call you FERTILTUDE!"
Hehehe!

LOL how funny!!

Thanks for posting this. It is just what I need after a BFN and feel like my monthly visitor is on the way..ugh.. Thank you for the words of encouragement. They were definitely needed today! ;o)

Welcome to DS Mandy! I am so sorry you've had yet another BFN & now facing AF. =( This is so devastating at times & I hope you find some great encouragement here. I'm glad you found encouragement in this post! =)

Yes, you're worth and you're also one h*lluva beautiful being, taking that leap of faith-- whatever your leap of faith is to continue with another year of IF treatments or to take a break for a while or other option(s).... As this poem says, "there is not a 'right' answer..."
No, there is only YOUR answer.

"Leap of Faith" by W. L. Brown

Standing before a fork
in the road
there is not a right answer

or truth cast in stone, there are
choices and plans and desire,

there is the heart of fire and
twist of fate,
there is the unveiling

of who you are and who you
are becoming.

This I have found after
bargaining with my hopes

and my destiny. There is only
a still quite voice within

that tells me trust what you
know and then surrender,

leap if you must, let your wings
unfurl, let your angels play catch.

We drink dreams from a
sliver of moon.