Infertility Support Group
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After the horrible month Ive had (one friend becoming pregnant then deciding to get rid of the baby, another giving birth to a little boy and me just having a cyst burst) I just need to vent a little
Firstly, my friend who aborted her little one hasnt spoken to me since the procedure (about three weeks ago), I have a feeling she is avoiding me and that really annoys me! Obviously I fail to understand why anyone would want to get rid of their child, but it is not my place to judge her and it shits me that she thinks that I would be angry or bitchy toward her she is treating me like I need to be wrapped in cotton wool and that really hurts, probably more than having someone close to me choosing to get rid of the one thing I want most in the world.
Also I ended up visiting our other friend who had the little boy and I can tell you I thought I may just die!!! First when I told DH we had to buy a baby gift for them, he said to me why dont we just give them some of the baby stuff you have downstairs My jaw literally dropped I couldnt speak for a bout a minute and then all I could say was, you just dont understand on how many levels what you said was wrong then we get to our friends place and His wife (she is really lovely but clueless) placed the baby basinet next to me THE WHOLE TIME I was there so I couldnt avoid having to play and coo to the baby as well as having to survive the re runs of delivery, post delivery and happy families now I just felt like I wanted to run away from there but couldnt and I can tell you by the time I got home that afternoon I couldnt even cry as I had numb my self down so much.
And finally there is the cyst I was in so much pain for weeks, the having to go to specialists, the tests, the amount of money I threw down the drain ($740.00 last count!!!) finding out I had in fact ovulated twice, as my specialist thought there was a good chance, A CHANCE (finally the words I am desperate to hear) that I could be pregnant!!! So my specialist sends me off for a pregnancy blood test. He was so positive that he told me not to worry too much as it was a little early for even blood work to pick it up accurately so I hang on to hope, then my period is late (Im over by about 3 days) and then, you guessed right, BFN
I feel exhausted and numb all at the same time this is by far one of the worse months of my entire life...
Firstly, my friend who aborted her little one hasnt spoken to me since the procedure (about three weeks ago), I have a feeling she is avoiding me and that really annoys me! Obviously I fail to understand why anyone would want to get rid of their child, but it is not my place to judge her and it shits me that she thinks that I would be angry or bitchy toward her she is treating me like I need to be wrapped in cotton wool and that really hurts, probably more than having someone close to me choosing to get rid of the one thing I want most in the world.
Also I ended up visiting our other friend who had the little boy and I can tell you I thought I may just die!!! First when I told DH we had to buy a baby gift for them, he said to me why dont we just give them some of the baby stuff you have downstairs My jaw literally dropped I couldnt speak for a bout a minute and then all I could say was, you just dont understand on how many levels what you said was wrong then we get to our friends place and His wife (she is really lovely but clueless) placed the baby basinet next to me THE WHOLE TIME I was there so I couldnt avoid having to play and coo to the baby as well as having to survive the re runs of delivery, post delivery and happy families now I just felt like I wanted to run away from there but couldnt and I can tell you by the time I got home that afternoon I couldnt even cry as I had numb my self down so much.
And finally there is the cyst I was in so much pain for weeks, the having to go to specialists, the tests, the amount of money I threw down the drain ($740.00 last count!!!) finding out I had in fact ovulated twice, as my specialist thought there was a good chance, A CHANCE (finally the words I am desperate to hear) that I could be pregnant!!! So my specialist sends me off for a pregnancy blood test. He was so positive that he told me not to worry too much as it was a little early for even blood work to pick it up accurately so I hang on to hope, then my period is late (Im over by about 3 days) and then, you guessed right, BFN
I feel exhausted and numb all at the same time this is by far one of the worse months of my entire life...
: (
This is not an easy journey, but hang in there & know you are not alone!
I pray you find peace & comfort soon!!!
Biggest hugs & abundant blessings!