Infertility Support Group
In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.
Recently I have had several friends on the IF journey become pregnant. I have been overjoyed for them, and overcome by my own emotions in processing what this means for our relationship. It's such a unique feeling that's hard to describe to someone who has never experienced it.
Sharing the following for anyone who may also be going through the loss, yes I do think there's a feeling of loss, of an IF friend.
"Walking down the path of conscious conception many are blessed with incredible friendships along the way. Some are made after the journey began, forged with shared sorrows. Others were always there, yet grow deeper in the vulnerability that comes hand in hand with opening a portal between our hearts.
However, there will come a time, inevitably there will always come a time, when one of us takes to the skywhether by the joy of pregnancy, the miracle of adoption, or the ease of acceptance. One will always leave the fertility nest before the other. This is the way of life.
So what do we do with the emotions that come . . .
http://infertilityawakening.com/2011/10/17/and-then-they-flew-away-when-infertile-friends-leave-the-nest/
Sharing the following for anyone who may also be going through the loss, yes I do think there's a feeling of loss, of an IF friend.
"Walking down the path of conscious conception many are blessed with incredible friendships along the way. Some are made after the journey began, forged with shared sorrows. Others were always there, yet grow deeper in the vulnerability that comes hand in hand with opening a portal between our hearts.
However, there will come a time, inevitably there will always come a time, when one of us takes to the skywhether by the joy of pregnancy, the miracle of adoption, or the ease of acceptance. One will always leave the fertility nest before the other. This is the way of life.
So what do we do with the emotions that come . . .
http://infertilityawakening.com/2011/10/17/and-then-they-flew-away-when-infertile-friends-leave-the-nest/
The anger, then sadness, and then the guilt for feeling those two emotions has been weighing on me as I forge ahead in my infertility journey, with my 2nd injectible cycle, trying to stay positive.......it's so damn hard to stay positive sometimes........
Then she called me one day to tell me she was pregnant and due on 11-30-10. I actually then got to respond and tell her that I was due on 11-12-10. But then she one-upped me with twins. But then she went into early labor and was in the hospital for 6 weeks before the twins were born at 31w.... they are ok (just in the NICU for a long time). And I still had jealousy issues that she got to meet her babies before me.
But then I got to bring my baby home while hers were still in the hospital. Now all of our girls are turning 1.
So....anyways. The point of that is. IF just turns you into a crazy jealous person that you don't even recognize.
She went through 6 IUIs none of which were successful. She spoke of her 7th IUI being their last attempt at getting pregnant and it made me very sad to think they would give up (I actually cried about it). They're amazing people and I know they will be fantastic parents. Anyway, she's now 13 weeks along (or so)...her 7th and last IUI did the trick! I'm thrilled for her but I'm also envious.
On Oct 7, 2011 I had an abdominal myomectomy to remove a ping-pong sized fibroid. I'm recovering well but I'm finding I'm especially envious of my pregnant friend now. Her baby is growing as we speak...and my DH and I can't even try TTCing for another three months (at least).
I wrote her an E-mail and came clean with her. I have a tendency to hold things in a be somewhat "bitchy," but deep down I'm just super tender. She appreciated me telling her how I was feeling and she says she totally understands.
We discussed this and came up with a couple different ideas on how to handle the situation but there's no perfect solution. I know that if I cut her out of my life even if it's temporarily...I'll miss her and she'll miss me. I'm on a thin line of wanting to hear everything about her pregnancy and not wanting to hear anything at all. It's a strange place to be in.
Her suggestion was to just ignore her pregnancy because that's how she would handle it if our roles were reversed. I made the decision to just suffer with it and requested that she be understanding and patient with me. If I seem blue or like I'm struggling I've asked her simply to give me a hug. We'll see how things go - I'm sure there will be some ups and downs. I know if I give into envy...it will consume me and it will consume my friendships.
My friends are worth fighting for.
http://www.resolve.org/support-and-services/pregnancy-after-infertility/pregnancy-between-infertility-friends.html
Lellyrae, I hear you and definitely understand. I think no matter what, the dynamic of the friendship changes--it has to. It is sad, yet perhaps one day when we are all on the other side of this journey the friendships will rekindle to their old strength.