Infertility Support Group

In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.

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What do you tell your employer?

MomHopes
MomHopes
I know this topic has been brought up before but I'm in need of some advice. I'm currently going thru my first IVF. So far I've only had one appointment and it pretty much just required an extra long lunch. But my next appointment is in the middle of the afternoon and then I know I'll have another one a couple days later and then I'll need to ask off for the retrieval and transfer. I really don't want to tell my boss what I'm going through. I'm not even telling some of my close friends so I think it'd be weird confiding in my boss! I just think it's going to be very awkward telling him every other day that I have a doctors appointment and then at the last minute having to ask for vacation in the middle of the week. I'm not sure yet how I'm going to handle this. My boss is very nice and I'm sure he'd be understanding but I never talk to him about personal things and this is about as personal as it gets! How have you all handled this?
truststhelord
truststhelord
I told my boss I was going through some medical
stuff and had to go in for testing. I told him
when the appts were and we worked it out.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Momhopes, I guess you can tell by the responses the situations vary. It appears there are two major components. First, what is your comfort level with being open and honest? Second, how is your employer? (If you have worked for a company for any length of time you can get a general feel of how they will react). I would say go from there on deciding which route to take.

By the way I was in the upfront and tell all group; with my employer and friends.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I told my female boss what I was going through w/out detail. I explained to her that I would be taking time off here and there (1/2 days when possible) do to timing tests. I was hesitant to tell her but thought that she would be more understanding of my emotional days. I have times when I am sitting at my desk working and just start crying. She was totally understanding and didn't ask any questions. Good luck w/ your decision.
deleted_user
deleted_user
i was up front and honest. i didnt have to do ivf, but did months of clomid with blood tests because i would never start on my own, took off for a lap and hsg, and all of the appts associated with my iui. my coworkers were understanding and covered when they could and my boss didnt care as long as my work got done. they were all very supportive and prayed for us. after conceiving with the first iui, they were helpful when i had to take time off for u/s.

the day i found out that i was pregnant, i had to call in late to work because the doc wanted a blood test to confirm. i didnt tell my coworkers what the doc appt was for but they figured it out and cried! i love those girls!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I love these types of topics... they help us weigh options & gain wisdom from the varied experiences of others! THANKS for posting!

For years I was self employed, so I was the boss & needed to 'explain' to no one, but I choose to share with my staff, plus my schedlue is flexible in the mornings. What was difficult for me was trying to decide what to tell clients (I am a children's counselor). For most I don't really feel I should or need to explain. Yet, for clients I have been seeing for a while I have disclosed the basic ideas, especially the last few times I m/c, because I needed off immediately with no warning & then needed time to recover, both physically & emotionally. For IF treatments, I love Albgray's response! Enough to stress the importance & not sound like you are dieing but admitting you need their understanding!

BEST of luck what ever you decide!