In my experience, being up front and honest works the best. You don't have to go into details but you can just say you're having some personal health issues (this isn't a lie!) and if he/she asks for more info re: it, you can just say you're having some ob/gyn appointments. If your boss is a male, he'll probably not ask for any further info! But if your boss is a female, telling her your going through fertility treatments might make her understand more why you will be needing so much time. I would just approach it as in offering as little amount of information as needed. Best of luck to you with work and with your progress!

In my opinion.....

I would not say a thing!!! You do NOT have to explain yourself in any way shape or form and they legally can not ask you. Say it's for a medical appt and that's all they need to know.
Yes, it would be nice to live in a world where people wouldn't treat you differently but it's just too risky.

Tread carefully on this one. :)

I'm not sure how big or formal your company is, but I would suggest approaching HR. If these appts affect your productivity and your ability to do your job, you could endanger your employment if you don't have it documented (I think disclosing to HR helps protect you). And HR is supposed to keep this confidential. 2 months ago I approached my boss since I knew we were about to ramp up treatment...and he really surprised me. He's been wonderful. If you do decide to tell your boss yourself, have a little script ready...it's easier if you know what you want to say. I made sure I told him that I would do everything necessary to keep up with my work and to make sure I stayed in touch with customers even though I needed to dial back my travel, etc. And like I said, he's been great. He's only asked that I keep him updated, so so far I've had to tell him twice that things didn't work, and he's even offered more support (but I don't give him the gory details, nor does he ask). Also, fyi, my boss is very impersonal too, never shares info or asks, so I was very pleasantly surprised. Good luck to you...whatever you decide to do, I hope it goes well.

I agree with bobkat57... legally they can never ask you what your appts are for. I would simply say that you have some pretty regular doctor appts coming up and that you will block your calendar accordingly so that he knows when you will be out.

GOOD LUCK!

Thoughtfully,
Kristin
http://www.agiftofmiles.com

Thanks everyone for your replies.

My company is large overall but my local office is somewhat small. I sit right outside my bosses door so he knows exactly when I'm there and when I'm not. I'd actually feel more comfortable telling him about it than telling HR. I have plenty of vacation time and personal days to cover the time out. I just don't know how to explain it and I know that it's illegal for them to ask me why but I just feel really awkward about it. It doesn't help that the other lady that reports to my boss is an oddball and whenever she has a dr. appt, comes back and tells us all how it went. Uggg...my next appt is Monday and I haven't told him about it yet. My plan for now is to just tell him in the morning that I have a follow up from last week. I guess I have all weekend to think about it!

I just had my ER last Tueday. I told work that I was getting my wisdom teeth out. At my work, we need a doctors note if we're taking 5 consecutive days off, so in advance of the ER, I went to a walk in clinic and explained that I was in an IVF cycle and would need to be off for a week. They gave me a note no problem and it just said I'd need to be off for medical reasons. For the regular appointments, all of mine were like at 7am so I'd go before work.

I prefer not to share a lot of staff with my coworkers. They are very nice people but most of them are man. I had to take a few days off here and there for IVF and FET. So I just told them that it a medical staff, or girl staff. Once I told my boss, who is the man, he didn't ask any other questions. They see me coming into the office with blood taking from my arm, taking medication in the medial of the day and they trying to be supportive, which is nice. People don't have to know your entire story in order to be supportive.

Good luck telling (or not telling) your boss. I know how it feels walking into work late and having everyone wonder why, it's a pain. Fortunately, I work at a school and my female bosses are very understanding. My asst. principal's sister went through infertility. I emailed them "this is why I am missing so many days in a row" and they haven't mentioned a thing beyond replying back that they are praying for me. It helped me feel less pressure being honest with them. I agree it depends on where you work and what kind of job you have.
Best of luck for this cycle to bring your BFP!

I told my employer at my job interview and he still hired me. Shortly after being hired I had laparoscopy and had to take off extra time for complications from that. A few months later I told him I would need extra time off for starting fertility treatments and Dr's appointments (most of the appts would have been early morning so it would have meant just being an hour or so late for work) and he was OK with everything, thankfully

My boss is female. I told her that I was having some medical issues and that I would be needing time off periodically. I never said why and she didn't ask. Tell them as much as you feel comfortable. I wouldn't suggest an outright lie because then you might stress about the lie and you really don't need any added stress during this time. Since your boss is a man, chances are, he will want to know as little as possible about your issues. Men are just weird that way....haha. I actually just sent my boss an email and she is about 5 steps away from me. She didn't seem to mind at all.

I actually told him everything.. On my first IVF i was trying to keep it a secret but once i had to take off and do blood work everyday and come late well then i explained. Now this is my second IVF and i told him that i will be coming in late almost everyday and i need to take off... when i have my procedures.. and he was fine about it... He really didn't say much... He was happy that i came to him and explained that i want a child and i need this to be done.. and he was fine.. so... i hope some of you guys are lucky to do that to... good luck..
I rosy

I was honest with my boss and told her everything. (I even cried. I'm such a weirdo.) Because I'm a teacher, someone has to cover my classroom when I am not there. Everyone has been supportive and have helped make this nightmare a little more tolerable (at least at work). Do whatever you feel is appropriate. Good luck!

I have been going through treatments for years and have not told my boss anything specifically. (I don't trust she would keep it confidential.) Unless they've figured it out on their own, none of my co-workers know what I'm going through either.

Other than saying my appointments are medical related, I told my boss that I have a disease, it's not life threatening, but it is life altering. She has not asked any questions about my requested time off.

Good luck to you!

Definitely don't feel like you have to tell anyone in your office. It's your time off and legally they can not ask you why you are taking time off.

When I had my miscarriage I was so distraught and my boss found me crying one day. I told her what happened and she was very understanding. Strangely, a few weeks later she admitted to me that she had to have IVF for both of her pregnancies! She never told anyone except her husband of course but I am glad she did....now I come and ask her about everything because she has "been there" before. Sort of a weight was lifted off my shoulders and when I have to leave to do something with a doctor, she is really understanding and lets me go.

I work in a school, and was quite up front about my appointments because I didn't know how else to handle all the time off I was needing for appointments.

The principal (male), and vice prinicipal (female) were/are both super supportive, and said that the school would do whatever it has to in order for me to get to my appointments...even on short notice, they are very understanding and have accomodated all of my time off requests.

I'm glad I told them.