Infertility Support Group
In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.
ChandlerandMonica
Hi everyone. I'm new here, and have mixed feelings; I'm glad to have found this site, yet I wish no one had to go through the ups and downs infertility brings. I used to think that ignorance is bliss. What's to think about, ya know? You get married, you enjoy some time alone together, you start talking about kids, you try, and bam! It happens. Ok, no, not necessarily. And then it becomes: Who cares if you're in your 30s, and you've been trying for what feels like forever. It'll happen; there's nothing wrong. Right? Nope. At least not for us. For almost all of our committed (and some single) friends, yes, but not us. For instance: In the past year that we've been waiting to see a specialist, (I'm from Canada, so we wait, but appointments are free. I'm not up to speed on how other countries do things), my brother and his girlfriend, (who is the same age as I am), got pregnant by surprise, (and he is a bea-u-tiful lil' fella!!), and my other nephew (yes, my sister is a wee bit older than me, with two grown kids), and his girlfriend had a big surprise pregnancy. She didn't know she was pregnant and gave birth in the bathroom. (Yet another sweet joy-baby). That's not counting the other friends and relatives driving the latest baby boom to a healthy level around us, (I can count 6 other couples off the top of my head). And we've been quiet and private, while almost everyone pokes and teases with the usual "when's it gonna be your turn" questions. The truth is, we don't know. And those questions make me want to ask them how their "plumbing" is holding out. But that would be rude, and I'm not there yet. DH wants to punch people, and if you knew him, you'd know the questions must really be bothering him. (He won't kill spiders for me... 'Makes him feel bad...) I have had bloodwork(s), HSG, and ultrasounds. My husband has had 2 analyses done, and we just got a call requesting he come in for another, topped off with hormone level bloodwork tests. This felt like it was the middle of the journey for us, seeing as how we'd been trying for a while, but it's now looking like it's really the beginning of a really frustrating journey. Today, I feel hopeless. Tomorrow, I may be pinning nursery inspiration pics because I've slept and feel hopeful again. And Thursday, the specialist will be delivering my latest test results, so who knows how I'll feel then. I marked this entry as venting, but maybe I'm just rambling because I'm scared, anxious and feeling a wee bit alone, with DH, obviously). Anyhow,thanks for letting me vent. And fingers crossed for good news for everyone waiting for it!
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I hope you don't see this post as rubbing it in but rather as hope. The journey ends eventually and, no, you're not alone in it. Also, don't lose track of the relationship you have with your husband. Throw some fun and excitement in there. Procreational sex gets stale after awhile. Recreational is much better- no timing, no elevating your pelvis afterwards, and no stressing.
jhesterm, thanks for the good wishes! Thursday is looming nearer, and I'll take all of the positive energy I'm offered :-)
Jaydee28, no baby yet hopefully doesn't mean no baby ever for you, and like I keep reminding myself, this may be difficult now, but if we are able to have a baby, she/he will be sooo loved because of all of the extra planning, waiting, and hoping.
KandJ, I like the idea of developing a game plan with the doc. Our initial meeting was over a month ago, and it was fairly brief. I'm a worrier, too, so perhaps I'll make her stick around a bit longer in the room with us this time. It was a very overwhelming appointment last time with all of the, "this bloodwork is to be booked for this day of your cycle",etc... I don't know which system is best - I'm sure they each have their pros and cons. Our appointments are covered by government healthcare, but treatments like IVF and associated drugs aren't. We could still be looking at thousands of dollars spent, on top of wait times, but neither we nor our private insurance providers have to pay specialist fees for the tests and clinic visits, just for treatments. I'm sorry to hear that you had such a difficult journey, but am so glad that your marriage was so strong that it didn't end in divorce. And I'm even more glad that your struggles didn't end in defeat, but as the family you'd been hoping for. I definitely didn't feel like you were rubbing it in - it's helpful to me to know that all of this work and worry and stress can be worth it. Even if it may not be what is in store for DH and I, I wouldn't wish unfulfilled dreams on anyone.
Thanks :-)
Make sure you get all your questions answered, bring a list. My re said she was always happy that I was so organized and toke the extra time with me.
I hope you get answers this week. I understand that ignorances is bliss. It really would be great if none of us had to go through this but atleast now you are one step closer to getting your baby.
Good luck.