I think it's horrible that we have to make excuses as to why we are not yet pregnant! Honestly it should be no ones business. I know it's difficult especially because society dictates when we should have a baby. I want you to read this article it is wonderful & describes what so many of us with fertility issues deal with on a daily basis!

https://nadirahangail.com/2016/05/25/mind-your-own-womb/

Wow, that article hits the nail on the head.

I hear you..

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I completely understand. If the person who has asked the question does not have kids I usually say when you have kids I will have kids. If they do I say my dog is my kid. Other than that I say the world is such a scary place that I am afraid to bring a kid in this world. These excuses tend to cover all the situations that I have faced so far but it hurts deep down knowing that what I am saying is not true.

Yes, I feel the same way it's nobodies business as to why my husband and I don't have children yet. People need to stop asking and realize if I wanted them to know my private life, I'd tell them. It's so rude to ask someone you dont know or barely met, especially at work. Just reading your post brings me to tears and I have a knot in my throat because I feel the same way.

I know exactly how you feel. When you just wanna scream and break down. It's been hard for me and my husband as well. I get frustraited and just tell myself mybe it's not my time. I start getting into this depression. My husbands family contantly tells me you should have a baby i just tell them maybe soon but i just try to keep my distance from them it makes me feel worse when someone is constantly telling you. Be srtong and take it day by day. Stay positive i hoped that helped i know it's hard and frustrating.

Definitely agree! Feel like screaming at people sometimes for sure. I know usually they mean no harm but that hurts even more when they ask!

Story of my life! At first we kept telling people "soon" and now a year later we just dont even know what to tell them. We don't say much and try to avoid the topic. And if one more person tells me that it will happen when I stop trying, I'm going to freak!! Haha

I feel the exact same way. I'm very private and I hate having to answer that question. This is definitely not the right thing to do...but it did make me feel better, haha. I actually snapped in bitterness and they were going to feel just as crappy and uncomfortable as I do. Thanksgiving dinner 2015 - our entire family enjoying turkey and my mother in law asks the dreaded question. My response, instead of laughing it off was "well, it's funny you should ask, it's not quite as straight forward as you would think. Apparently, everyone else in the world can just have sex and get pregnant, but since that hasn't worked for 3 years, I get to go for invasive vaginal exams every three months and get a transvaginal ultrasound wand shoved up my woo-hoo for good measure because my cervical mucous isnt telling enough...next month, your son gets to masterbate into a cup. We'll let you know how it goes if you'd like. Please pass the mashed potatoes and thanks for asking."

No one's mentioned it since.

First i want to say, WAY TO GO Sageetedgirl! SAVAGE!

Secondly, I absolutely agree. Why do we have to bare those god awful heartbreaking questions constantly? All it is, is a reminder of something that already eats away at me! My mother in law is the WORST about it. Every single time we speak, i get the famous "Ya'll need to hurry and have me a grandchild" or "Dont wait forever". Is it horrible that i just want to scream to her "DON"T YOU THINK I WANT TO MORE THAN ANYTHING? SHUT UP ALREADY!" But instead, I put my fake smile on while hurting so deeply, and reply by saying "God will bless us when it is time".

I think my point of view has completely changed on this whole subject. When I was young I was always asking my older cousins when they were having kids. I was so excited for them to start a family. Now that I am the older one trying to conceive. I find that kind of nudging and probing of do gooder neighbors and friends SO IRRITATING! I want to just yell out the we have been trying and if it were up to me we would already have a baby by now. But I just make up some lame excuse. My husband and I were just keeping all this to ourselves until last xmas when my dad was really pushing me on the "grandchild" subject and I broke down and told him we have been trying with no success. Since then I have shared this with other friends and it has been very cathartic. I find such a relief to not only know that others out there are also struggling but that its not this big secret we have to carry around.

Reading these comments has been so therapeutic for me. I just joined this support group today! I'm 37 and have been trying to conceive for 3 years. So, given our age, my husband (also 37) and I are asked about kids ALL of the time. I just told his mom last year that we had been trying. I think his family thought I was the hold up and didn't want kids because of my career. Go figure! My family has known all along. When folks ask us "So when are you having kids" or say "What are you waiting on" we just say we will have kids when the time is right. The problem is we've been saying this for years now and I think folks are starting to figure out our "big secret." I have to admit that I'm ashamed. And, I swear 2016 was supposed to be our year! Can't believe another year is coming to an end with no pregnancy or kids, but I am still hoping and believing. I'm glad I'm not the only one going through this, but I do hope all of us experience success in 2017.

I am so glad to hear I am not alone! I was dreading the holidays because it was inevitable that someone would ask and I was not sure how I was going to handle it. I probably would have gone with sageeyedgirl's approach; which has me laughing at my desk when I read that BTW!

We really need to start a group with good, stupid responses to really stupid questions. Sometimes people don't mean to be hurtful, but bottom line is they are and they say stupid things. Family, parents, friends whoever. i wish people would just mind their own business and realize that if we wanted to talk about it, WE would do so. Sorry, i got all worked up now. xoxo