Infertility Support Group

In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.

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UPDATE: It hurts when...

AmyM23
AmyM23
I talked to my husband yesterday about my concerns and he didn't respond the way I had hoped. I asked him if we could really start looking into one of the options and he asked "why would I want to go into debt to then go into more debt?" meaning why would he want to spend a lot of money to have a baby when raising a baby will also cost us a lot of money. It hurt, and it hurt bad. He said he was trying to look out for us and I asked him how not trying the have a baby was going to be best for me in the long run and he had no answer. I know he is scared, but this is not something that I want to let go of. I have wanted a baby for as long as I can remember and I don't want to never have one. I am really upset by this. I know he felt bad when my tears started flowing and wouldn't stop but it hurts so bad that he is just so nonchalant about all of this.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Could he be scared that it's him with the fertility issues? Have you checked with insurance to see if they will cover anything- hormone blood work, hsg, laparoscopy? I'm so sorry that you very obviously weren't expecting or wanting that answer. I'd hug you if I could.
MRSstrong
MRSstrong
I'm so sorry. This is such a hard thing to talk about and work out. I know. I just went through it my hubby too. He is trying to be realistic, while I'm bawling my eyes out begging to throw all our money (and future money) into IVF. We chatted, and it took a lot for me to come to understand him. And we reached an agreement that we both feel comfortable with. Instead of going into debt, we save. We are doing everything we can to try and get treatments covered by insurance, but in the meantime we expect them not to, and we save. Once we have enough we go for it. Then if it's not successful, we save for the next. That way there is no debt, and I may not lose my mind since I have a feeling that I'm doing something. During the saving time we keep trying on our own, and I will look for a new job if my company turns me down. There are a lot of companies that pay, and I figure I may as well find them.

My point is, try and find a way to see his point of view, either by asking, or guessing. Then see if you both can talk about a way to move ahead in a more rational way. Maybe not a super conservative plan, but one that makes the hubby feel more comfortable than being in debt and being scared he can't provide for a little one.

Good luck! I'm thinking of you!