Hi there - I’m also new here :) Just reading your post I can relate on every level. We are on year 3 of trying - I have PCOS and have had some fibroids removed from my uterus. These 3 years have been filled with so much angry, jealousy and heartbreak seeing many of my friends achieving pregnancy no problem. Don’t feel guilty for feeling angry - I find it’s such a rollercoaster of emotions and It’s okay to feel that way. I also struggle with anxiety and have doubts about the future - whether we will be able to conceive or not. I am so exhausted from obsessing over fertility and the emotions it brings too ... As my hubby says “one day at a time”. Praying you get good news and get right on a treatment plan! I am on my first IUI cycle using menopur injectables and the
ovidrel trigger shot. Expensive YIKES! Sending good vibes & know you’re not alone! Keep me updated!

Hi, I know exactly how you feel. In the last 3 months I found out that 2 people close to me are expecting. While I'm so happy for them, it's an a huge struggle for me. I went in for my day 3 blood work today and will be going in next week for the dye test.
Best wishes in your journey!

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I have so many friends, colleagues, and acquaintances who are pregnant or are new parents. Every party, every day at work, every day on Facebook I’m confronted with it and it’s so painful. I am genuinely happy for them but it still hurts. You’re not a bad person for feeling that way. It’s only natural.

It sounds like you are just beginning your journey with fertility intervention. I don’t have any special insight or wisdom, but take care of yourself! Whatever that means to you: extra rest, exercise, reading lots of books, planning a vacation, cooking special foods, etc. You will need your strength. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you.

You are definitely not wrong in your feelings. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. My husband & I have been TTC for almost 3 years, 2 of which have been a mix of IVF & now donor egg. I have had to deal with so many individuals receiving the greatest news of their lives. Two coworkers are now expecting their second while I barely have tried once. I feel like my soul is broken. And today my best friend told me she is 12 weeks when she swore she never wanted kids. It’s okay to be hurt. It’s okay to be frustrated. It’s okay to be jealous & angry. I have many, including family that don’t understand. “Why can’t you just be happy for them?” I am! It’s just so tiring & hurtful. Why can’t I work the way I’m supposed to? I wish we knew the why. I too am trying to be positive. My light however is fading. I wish you all the best. Stay strong; it is a rough journey.

Thank you for all the love and support!! It truly helps knowing I’m not alone and having a support system of people dealing with the same issues. I wish you all the very best and will be praying for you all. I went to see my obgyn today and she started with blood work. We will also be doing a sperm analysis and a HSG for me. Hoping for some answers!!

I completely understand. It is really hard when finding out about other people getting pregnant. I found out my cousin was pregnant when she sent a cute video to all of the cousins, and I threw my phone to the other side of the room and sobbed on the couch when I realized what the video was (it was their one year annviersary, so the video started out thanking us for celebrating their wedding, etc). Then I felt guilty because I don't want ANYONE to feel the pain I have felt, or go through any of the things I've had to go through. I'm happy for her, but it hurts. And then, the day after we found out our 3rd IVF cycle failed, my husbands coworker told him that his wife was pregnant with #2, but he was hesitant to tell my husband because he guessed that the cycle had failed (my husband left work early that day after we found out the test was negative). So now I feel guilty that people feel guilty telling me. Also, the day I found out the 3rd cycle failed was the day I got a bunch of holiday cards, including 2 from friends that announced their pregnancies. That was a really bad day.
There is no right way to feel. We feel hurt that others get the joy that we so desparately want. We feel angry at them for getting what we want. Then we feel guilty about being angry, because we would never wish this pain on them.
I too am trying to stay positive on this 4th cycle. I hope you get some answers, and good luck with whatever you choose to do.

I am also new here. You spoke right to my heart. It is very hard to be excited for friends and family who are easily able to conceive. I always want to jump up and down for them but them I am so sad at the same time. I also recently found out my close friend is 20 weeks pregnant and she knows out our infertility and so wanted to wait to tell me. I just don't think people realize what to say or what not to say. I hope you have some answers from your doctor shortly!

I totally understand! I'm hoping to have 4 children, but we can't even seem to get our first. A few months ago, my colleague with 3 children informed me she was pregnant. I couldn't handle it. I flipped my lid at home and cried for days. She was getting what I always wanted! Not only that, but I would have to watch her every day experience things that I so desperately wanted to feel. At this point, my husband and I started seeing a fertility center (who's job it is to get you pregnant rather than OBGYN whose job it is to have your lady parts healthy).
I confided in her how I felt, that I was happy for her, but sad and that it would be increasingly harder to watch over the coming months. She was so understanding. She continued to support me and listen to me complain about failed month after failed month. I trusted that she would still be a friend and I couldn't be happier for her now.

I tried for several years and finally had my son with IVF. We are trying for our second and I STILL get that mixed feeling of resentment but happiness for people. You are not a monster! I think it is a normal reaction

Hello dear! I have same thoughts on my mind. I'm so tired because of infertility. I know exactly how you feel. I should say this is really hard not to give up and just accept the situation. But when I think that I should accept childless life it makes me even more depressed. It seems like nothing can help and I will always be miserable. I was trying so hard to distract myself but nothing worked. I think about children 24/7. I think about my infertility, about my kidney disease, about my relationship with my husband. Even when I go out with friends or spend time with my family and relatives or watch TV or work I think about that stuff. I know exactly what you're talking about. I'm 48 and I have no children. Everyone around me had already become parents and grandparents. When I meet old friends of course the first question they ask is about children. At such moments I just want to disappear. I understand that this is not important what other people think about us. Everyone should mind their own business. We should always think about ourselves and what we think about our lives. But sometimes I just can't stop analyzing how people think about me. I am so afraid that someone will judge me or discuss me and my childless life behind my back. I’ve met one of my old friends and she was with her kids. Obviously she asked me if I have children. When I told her that I'm thinking about using the services of surrogate mother, she just smiled and told me this is too late. And then she told our common friends about my surrogacy because when I met the other friend she asked me if this is true. To be honest I was shocked. I regret it I told about my surrogacy to someone who means nothing for me and who knows nothing about my life. One part of me understands that people going to judge you no matter what. So we should do everything what we think is right for us. The other part of me feels so vulnerable. This situation made me feel depressed. I don't want people to think about me in a bad way. I feel like I want to justify myself. Why I should feel this way? Those people will never understand how I feel and why I made my choice. Despite of the whole situation I decided to keep going no matter what. Surrogacy seems a very great opportunity for us. I won't let anyone to destroy my happiness.

I'm so sorry your cycle failed. It's a cliché but it is true that only people who have been through infertility and IVF really know what it feels like. I always felt very 'alone' during and after my first IVF cycle. But you are definitely not alone. Around 1 in 7 couples has difficulty conceiving. It is also something which, fortunately, more and more people are now talking about. I think this board gives so much support and strength. It helps to talk about what a strange mix of emotions it all is – anger, resentment, jealousy, exhaustion, fear, etc. They're all valid emotions and the more we talk about IVF the less of a taboo it becomes.

I'm in the same boat. I’m also looking into using donor eggs. I’m so angry at my friends for getting pregnant without trying then feeling like a horrible person for doing it. For me the hardest thing about infertility is that no one can ever understand what you are going through. Unless they have been there themselves. And maybe this sounds terrible but I don’t like hanging out with our pregnant friends anymore. All they do is talking about childbirth, children and how it’s exhausting for them to be pregnant. This makes me depressed. I am happy for them, but sometimes it’s too hard. I'm on the edge of turning 42. We have been trying for about 6 years. My group of friends all started to have babies in our late 20s early 30s. I wanted to hang out with people that didn't have babies (selfish, I know). But there is seriously no one who doesn’t have children! I'm seriously the last one left. I feel like I can't breathe sometimes.