Infertility Support Group
In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.
Not sure if anyone else has been dealing with this, however I find myself feeling this awful conundrum of being so happy for my dear friends who have dealt with infertility and finally get pregnant, and feeling a true sadness as if being left behind, which feels very selfish to me. This is a tough one I wasn't expecting. I am really happy for them, yet I feel an awkwardness now between us. It's like they are moving on, and I am still here. Tough.
The Infertility Conundrum: Its hard being left behind. () Its hard to be the one who stays. Audrey Niffenegger (The Time Travelers Wife)
Women facing fertility challenges can form quick and strong bonds with one another, perhaps stronger than most. In their solidarity to voice, as if whispering secrets at a slumber party in the wee hours of the morning trying not to wake the others, those things not shared beyond the bonds of those friendships, a different kind of closeness springs to life. Yet, what happens when we are left behind?
What happens when the bond breaks as one woman steps foot into the world of the proverbial other; the world of swelling bellys and daily pondering about nursery colors and baby blanket patterns? What happens when we are the one who must stay while they move away?
There is an inevitable breaking. In joy and celebration... (www.infertilityawakening.com)
The Infertility Conundrum: Its hard being left behind. () Its hard to be the one who stays. Audrey Niffenegger (The Time Travelers Wife)
Women facing fertility challenges can form quick and strong bonds with one another, perhaps stronger than most. In their solidarity to voice, as if whispering secrets at a slumber party in the wee hours of the morning trying not to wake the others, those things not shared beyond the bonds of those friendships, a different kind of closeness springs to life. Yet, what happens when we are left behind?
What happens when the bond breaks as one woman steps foot into the world of the proverbial other; the world of swelling bellys and daily pondering about nursery colors and baby blanket patterns? What happens when we are the one who must stay while they move away?
There is an inevitable breaking. In joy and celebration... (www.infertilityawakening.com)
Even in a small group, or even one on one, I sense an impending abyss. I am in a struggle to make a pregnancy, they are in the midst of spit up/diapers/baby. My world is wishing and hoping, stress and disappointment. Their world revolves around baby. The abyss of relating to one another is widening.
It reminds me of when I went off to college. My friends that didn't go to college no longer seemed to relate to me. Slowly, we drifted apart. It wasn't intentional, we just no longer held common ground to keep us together. The longer it takes, the more I feel the drifting. Worst of all, it hurts....not only because I cannot seem to make a baby, but because I can't seem to stop it.
But as one who is pregnant now - 20 weeks. I wish to remain close with my DS friends (pregnant and those struggling with IF). We have a bond that I don't have with my naturally pregnant friends, or friends that don't want kids. We know what its like and how much we prayed to have children. I don't always have the right words to share, but at least I can support them and give advice when its asked.
Try to focus on the fact that their positive outcome means there is hope for you and all people struggling with IF. When I was TTC I loved reading success IVF stories. They made me so happy and gave me hope like nothing else.
I don't think the bond really breaks, its just life evolving, journeys changing. But friendships can continue if we let them. ((hugs))