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Since the failure of our first IVF last week, we have decided to take a break from all things IF related. Thought it would be easy to do, but have found that the universe isn't going to make it so.
First, with the start of AF last week, my doctors increased my progesterone in hopes that my beta would increase and the blood wasn't AF. Bleeding stopped but wtih a beta now of 2 no hope. Stopped progesterone and was told AF should arrive back in a couple days. That was 5 days ago. So if she doesn't come tomorrow, back to the doctors I go for what I assume is another pill to take to get her to come.
Next, last night DH and I went to a sporting event with his parents. Pregnant women, babies & toddlers everywhere. Could ignore most of them except the cutest 1 year old little boy whose extended family sat 2 rows in front of us. For four hours I tried to not look at him, but with much failure, I ended up spending most of the time wondering if I was ever going to have one of my own to bring to family events. For his grandparents to hold, for his cousins to play with, for aunts & uncles to entertain.
I know DH's mother noticed him as well. We haven't told them the IVF didn't work yet, couldn't deal with that last night. They have been very supportive but I am just a mess of emotions.
Does taking a break get easier?
First, with the start of AF last week, my doctors increased my progesterone in hopes that my beta would increase and the blood wasn't AF. Bleeding stopped but wtih a beta now of 2 no hope. Stopped progesterone and was told AF should arrive back in a couple days. That was 5 days ago. So if she doesn't come tomorrow, back to the doctors I go for what I assume is another pill to take to get her to come.
Next, last night DH and I went to a sporting event with his parents. Pregnant women, babies & toddlers everywhere. Could ignore most of them except the cutest 1 year old little boy whose extended family sat 2 rows in front of us. For four hours I tried to not look at him, but with much failure, I ended up spending most of the time wondering if I was ever going to have one of my own to bring to family events. For his grandparents to hold, for his cousins to play with, for aunts & uncles to entertain.
I know DH's mother noticed him as well. We haven't told them the IVF didn't work yet, couldn't deal with that last night. They have been very supportive but I am just a mess of emotions.
Does taking a break get easier?
Good luck.
Taking a break is important in every IF journey. If either of you feel like you're drowning, it's important to take a step back. Taking a ttc break was painful because I felt like we were wasting potential conception months, but since our decision to put the breaks on, I've uncovered it being much more than this. I have my husband, marriage, and womanhood back! I hope you can find your way through a ttc break. It works for some and the above is proof of that.
Had a nice glass of wine with diner, that was a plus to our break :)
Good luck.
Granted I still have hard moments like when we were at a ball game with friends, our second IUI has just failed and a pregnant lady (I mean like 9 months pregnant lady) sat directly next to ME! Its like I am a magnet for PG ladies!