You are not the lepper, I can tell you that much. There are times in our lives when people will not know how to respond to what is going on in our lives. Unfortunately some will make the choice to avoid an uncomfortable situation instead of dealing with it head on. I am sorry this is happening to you. More so I am sorry for the loss of your brother and your child.

If you feel the friendship is worth holding on to then maybe you should confront it. Let her know that you understand if it is uncomfortable for her if she does not know what to do or say and that she doesn't always need to do or say anything, just be there.

But, I will tell you what someone told me a long time ago. (I may mess up the wording some) "Life is like a train and along the way friends will get on and friends will get off. Some will be on the ride for a few stops and some will be on the ride longer."

This friend you speak of may be one that was only meant to be a part of your life for a short time. It could also be she is meant to come back into your life at some point in the future. We all grow and change and many times we out grow or grow away from the people in our lives.

I wish you the best with what ever you decide to do and I am sure if this friend has gotten off the ride that there will be someone else to get on and be a part of your life today.

I'm very sorry...and I do not understand the mentality.

Does she think she is above loss, is she herself immortal?

I would confront her.

Huggs.

Thanks for all the support. I really needed to hear it from another perspective. You are all so wonderful!

Personally I would let it go. If I wanted to maintain the friendship I would just keep doing what you did...talk about the job..the weather. The relationship should then heal itself where you friend will no longer find it difficult to be around you. I know even though I have experienced some great loss in my life I often find it hard to give comfort to others who are experiencing the same. But if you value this friend then I would just continue how you are. I am so sorry about your brother and your miscarriage...and hope you are finding comfort.

I love the respone from Lioness!!
I feel I have come across many soulmates in my life so far. Some it seems were not ment to last for a life time though. It hurts, but you know that saying "If you love something set it free, if it doesn't come back it was not ment to be." I think that holds true to friendships also.
Depending how much this friendship means to you, I think I would write a letter and let her take the next step.
I am very sorry for the lose of your brother and for your miscarriage!!!

here's the way I see it. You never discussed these traumatic losses with her to begin with. If she were a true good friend, you would have felt comfortable discussing something that is so much a part of your life. The fact that you avoided these to begin with, and she STILL found a way to be made uncomfortable by the mere knowledge of their presence tells me that she's not a great friend to have.

IMHO - IF is hard enough, don't make it harder on yourself by pursuing a one-sided friendship with a person who has clearly made it evident that they are CHOOSING to avoid you. You deserve better.