Infertility Support Group

In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.

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Round 2 IVF and still depressed...

dani0828
dani0828
Just thought I'd try to get some of these feelings written down. We are starting our 2nd IVF cycle, and I'm still not "over" the aftereffects of the first IVF. We were so hopeful with the first round of IVF. Everything looked 'perfect' (what the doctors said). We only had 2 embryos to transfer (none left to be frozen) but everything went smoothly and I got pregnant, only to have a miscarriage 6 weeks into the pregnancy. Now I have lost all hope. I feel so dead inside. When we went to our last appointment, i couldn't even 'fake' trying to be hopeful. I'm just going through the motions. I can barely remember to take my meds on time, because somehow nothing really matters that much anymore. I know I have to find a way to shake this, or I'm going to ruin everything. With the first IVF, we were both so excited and determined and full of hope. Now everything is just sad. I ripped all the pictures off our walls, took down decorations in the house, and told my husband i refuse to celebrate holidays. I haven't read the news or been on Facebook in the 2 months since the miscarriage. I guess I feel like reading the news and seeing everyone's Facebook posts will just be another reminder of how the world keeps going, even though I feel like mine is forever stuck on the 19th of September...the day we lost our baby. I'm afraid to research "IVF and depression"...because I'm afraid it will tell me that your chances decrease with depression...and that will be yet another thing to bring me down. Part of me wishes we could just wait a few months, but time is never on our side with infertility. So here we go again....round 2.
Halterbroke
Halterbroke
Moving on after a miscarriage is not easy. I'm not going to say "getting over a miscarriage" because I don't think you ever really get over it. I miscarried the day before Thanksgiving last year, and we had a truly miserable holiday season. You need to take care of yourself. I lit a candle every morning for the baby we lost, took a lot of hot baths and long walks, and was blessed to have many supportive friends to talk to. They really got me through.

Just because you miscarried once, however, doesn't mean it will happen again. So many women have them. I think it's like one in four or something. When I "came out" about it (we told my whole family I was pregnant right away because we were so excited) I found out that all three of my sisters had had one too. All three now have healthy children. And as I write this to you, I hold my healthy newborn son in my arms. So don't lose hope, don't give up. It's a terrible thing and nobody deserves to go through that hell. But you will get through it. I think the only thing that really helps is time.

Big hugs and lots of positive thoughts coming your way.
BecMarie
BecMarie
Going through IVF is hard enough, but to go through the extreme highs and then extreme lows of finding out your pregnant and then miscarrying is so tough. You will get through this. The fact that the egg was able to implant is wonderful news. As Halterbroke mentioned, it doesn't mean that you will have another miscarriage. They are unfortunately very common and most woman go on to have healthy pregnancies. Try to focus on something positive each day that makes you happy. Get your nails done, read a book, go for a hike, whatever you want that gives you some tlc! It sounds like you need to take care of your mind, body, and soul right now so that you can focus on moving forward. Big hugs!
heretochat
heretochat
Dear lovely Dani! We all are in this waiting. We're also i the process. A contradicting one using DE. We've decided it to be 5 attempts to boost the chances. And to tell the truth I think this must be more than one att anyway for me (I'm 41). Here absolutely agree that time never plays on our side with fertility issues.
So everything which can be done on the point is just try to stay calm. Though sometimes it's so unbearable, i know this feeling perfectly well.
I'm sorry for your failed cycle, but think another one will definitely bring you success. The experts are now more knowing about how the procedure goes for you. They'll do their best to help you this time.
May God help all us with desired baby dust. Holly x
daysi30
daysi30
Hi Dani, I completely understand your feelings. Through this virtual way of communication I send you the biggest hug. I am also getting ready for IVF#2 in March after 2 failed embryo transfers. I have not been able to get pregnant in both attempts, so I am very nervous about the future. On a positive note, you were able to get pregnant and that is an advantage you have that the future transfer will work. Just wanted to let you know that I believe that it helps to really think that with this new cycle we have another opportunity. I try to find the energy to be hopeful when I look forward and visualize that the next cycle will be more successful than the last one. I have accepted that the previous cycles have not worked for whatever reason and have used that information to improve my chances this cycle.
daysi30
daysi30
Hi Dani, I completely understand your feelings. Through this virtual way of communication I send you the biggest hug. I am also getting ready for IVF#2 in March after 2 failed embryo transfers. I have not been able to get pregnant in both attempts, so I am very nervous about the future. On a positive note, you were able to get pregnant and that is an advantage you have that the future transfer will work. Just wanted to let you know that I believe that it helps to really think that with this new cycle we have another opportunity. I try to find the energy to be hopeful when I look forward and visualize that the next cycle will be more successful than the last one. I have accepted that the previous cycles have not worked for whatever reason and have used that information to improve my chances this cycle. Keep up the spirit Dani.
deedeest
deedeest
Dear Dani! Wake up! Dont be depressed! Cause researchers are right, I believe it, that chances are decreased with depression. Stop ruin everything with your mood! Be stronger. I believe that children come only to the place where the happiness is. I dont know why, but sometimes it happened. I went for surrogacy and our SM lost our child on the week 5((( It ruined me from inside. But I shook myself, turned the page and continued my way to happiness. It is truth that we need some attempts to be succeed. I even changed not one clinic and country. I found clinic, which proposed me guarantee for success and it helped me to continue. I will never forget all those bad days, but my baby is worth of it.