Infertility can really send a relationship into rocky situations. One of the first REs we saw told us that most couples who have to deal with infertility end in divorce. My husband and I took that very seriously and when things started to get crazy, we saw a therapist together because we both wanted a baby but he was ok with not having them if we couldnt and i was not ok with not having babies and it was really really rreally hard. counseling helped so much. YOu are not alone. Most of us on this page have been through rocky waters because of IF. Maybe try talking to him even if he does get mad, just insist that you want to talk about it. Its a big ego problem too for men even if the IF is not related to them. tell him that you feel alone andthat he needs to support you. I told my husband to just pretend to care more than you do. Men are like guard dogs when it comes to their emotions so its hard to tell what they are thinking.

Good Luck, try the counseling, even if you have to go alone, it willl help alot

My DH told me that he feels like it as much his "fault" as it is mine even though it's ALL on me here. His numbers are great and everything. But he hates talking about it because he feels like a failure too.
*Do you have no emotional connection AT ALL, or just in matters of IF? Because to have come this far and have NO connection, would be impressive. But if there's no connection in regards to IF and things, it's understandable. You have to realize, their bodies aren't supposed to be "made" to carry children. They don't have supersized mommy hormones. They don't have cycles and deal with the mean AF. So from their end it's more of a "something is broken, and I want to fix it.... Fix it, not talk about it. Just fix it." From what I have gathered, that's a GUY THING! Girls talk about it. Guys fix it! You just have to find a way to get the support you need without kicking him into "fix it" mode. My DH gets REALLY mad wen we talk about it because he can't fix it. So instead, I tell him I'm feeling down and he washes my hair, buys me chocolate, holds me, etc. We rarely "talk about it." That's why I am here! I come here and talk about it. He will sit next to me while I am here now... He didn't used to do even that!!!
*Coming this far, you can DEFINITELY cope with the stress of having a baby. Right now, you are struggling with IF with your family so far away. And hopefully having a baby will encourage visits more too! So yep, I'm 100% sure you can handle it...
DEEP BREATH, maybe a glass of wine and relax a little. Don't worry about the what-if's. We will all get torn down doing that!!!

Men, especially the best of them from what I'm seeing, take not being able to make us pregnant very personally - even if it isn't their fault!

We don't know yet if hubby is a factor or not, but we do know that I have a lot of contributing factors. Yet, he tells me he feels like a failure. As a general rule in my experience, men who feel like failures shut down and are tough to crack.

I'm lucky to have one that tries hard, but his moods have been getting to me a bit lately too. Hang in there!

I talked non stop and i wanted to know how he was feeling about the ivf at all times, he didnt want to talk about it, he said that i over analised everything and just to take each day as it comes, THAT WAS HARD, i googled and searched and speak about it more than i thought i did, i guess i needed reasurance.
he came with me to every appointment, and he injected a few needles, he didnt come to every blood test , (they get a bit much during stimms) Some men are just not talkers and feelers like we are, but i think deep down they are afraid how much you are trying and they are preping themselfs to deal with you if it doesnt work. i was so upset when my first ivf failed, and my husband wanted a break for 3 months, i knew if i did that i would crumble and i kept going, he was more quiet through this second round. Doing everything oppisate than i did before, non of the pineaple old wifes tales etc .. i drank some wine too. i really felt like say huh i told you so ... lol
I think what im trying to say is... Dont expect your partner to talk alot or want to discuss it all the time like we do, we are obsessed with wanting to be pregant and having a baby, or some men seem to do, best i got from my husband was him looking for funny things on TV coz he prob guessed i was going to be a physco that day..and giving me the odd chocolate bar, he seemed to drink a lot during this last try and has calmed down now.
its a really mentally challanging time. Best of luck

Wow, this makes me feel better.... alot better, me and DH are very different people without the male female aspect and what most of you describe sounds exactly like us, he acknowledges the journey and tries to be kind making me hot chocolates and everything but like you say his emotions are a closed book to me, and he certainly doesnt really wanna hear about mine.
We have been together for 6 years and I know you cant do that and go through this together without something special but my mind just drives me crazy, over analysing etc
Thankyou all so much for your kind words, I will definately be needing you all in the coming months xxx