My sister has a child born with Fragile X. I have hyperthyroidism and premenopause my doctor said Its best to get a genetic testing to see if I’m a carrier of Fragile X too. If I am I choose not to go through IVF because I don’t want me or my future baby to go through that hardship. Your husband seems very frustrated with you or just in general working so much, but my question is: Is he REALLY busy or is avoiding the issue out of fear. It’s a fact that men can’t handle heartbreak in general and fear like women. Women are born to be strong and fearful to a certain degree... You sit him down have a conversation one on one to ask him to be honest with you on how his feeling. Genetic Screening is very important, get it done.

I get my blood test results back next month.

My advice is to not get too upset about your genetic test results. It only matters if you overlap, assuming we're talking about recessive traits. My husband and I both had to do genetic testing before we tried naturally for other reasons (although that obviously didn't work out), and I had my test first and am a carrier for several diseases, including cystic fibrosis. Luckily, once he got tested, we learned he wasn't a carrier for anything that I carried. So the time I spent being worried about cystic fibrosis was sort of all just a waste of energy.

Here's hoping it's all a waste of energy for you too because you have no overlap and there won't be anything to worry about.

Sorry to hear about your first IUI. If it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure the first IUI rarely works. Certainly didn't for me! It would be like getting pregnant naturally on the first try...just usually doesn't happen for most people.

Hi @jnicole I'm so sorry you're having a rough time and a recently failed IUI. It's all a lot and it can pile on quick with every emotion. Genetic screening was required for us to move forward with any fertility treatment. I was not happy about it but was able to accept that it was just another step. My husband was not happy about this either and expressed this a little more which made me frustrated. I understood where he was coming from but I also was like welp we're in the thick of this and it's just another item we have to check off. So I understand the high emotion of just wanting to be in it together through whatever.

I know this may sound silly, but maybe try writing your husband a letter. Sometimes they can bury their emotions and use work as an excuse and it's easy to tune things out when there's so much going on. If he can read how you feel and why it is important to you, maybe it will allow him to come around. Also will help you get everything out on the table and open the conversation in a way that is less stressful.

Please remind yourself it is not a you or him issue. It is a we issue, and you're in it together no matter who has what. Please don't blame yourself - I know it's difficult not to get down, i'm guilty of it, too! But you cannot control certain things in this and are doing everything in your power to get through this. Best of luck to you, I hope you feel better soon and things turn around :)

I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through. It's amazing how infertility can put a strain on things. Have you thought about counseling? Seeing a counselor has really helped our infertility situation. It's still not easy, but it does help.

The first IUI rarely works so don't give up hope.

Thank you everyone for your kind words and thoughts! I actually didn't know that most IUIs don't take the first time. I wish that my doctor had set that expectation maybe I would have felt less disappointment this round. I'm starting my clomid for round 2 today. Wish me luck!

I know these times are challenging but we will get through it. I did write my husband a letter and I think that it really helped. We had more productive conversation last night and I suspect that we will continue to do that. I also scheduled a phone counseling session today just to continue to process this in the right way.

I hope all of you are having a wonderful day!

My husband and I did genetic screening after my sister found out she was a fragile x carrier during her pregnancy and after my dad was diagnosed with Parkinsons while my sister was pregnant. I'm also a carrier for fragile x, but a pre-mutation form. We are in the process of doing IVF, having harvested and tested embryos. Unfortunately, our first embryo was unsuccessful and we just implanted our second, but don't know if it was successful. It is incredibly hard to choose to do this -- to opt to do IVF when so many people are having babies around you and are so happy and you feel like its never going to happen because you have to keep waiting to try another embryo and then wait for the disappointment of it not taking. It's not fun. I have a lot of buyer's remorse for having chosen this option, particularly because our kids are pretty unlikely to have the mutation (its our grandchildren who would have the greatest risk). I like to tell myself on my best days that genetic testing and whatever is necessary is the most selfless thing you can do for your child. It's hard and feels awful a lot (especially learning your embryo didnt take), but I hope I will feel like I did this for my child.