Infertility Support Group
In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.
This is my newest letter to Doug. What do you think? It sounds like Doug is fine to add another group, but we really don't want to start a war, do we? :)
To: Doug
Sent : 05/18/07, 11:36 am
Subject: Pregnancy Groups
There has been quite a discussion going on concerning the issue of having two pregnancy groups. After reading both sides of the opinions, I feel that my suggestion for an "Adult Pregnancy" vs. "Teen Pregnancy" group would be a mistake because those pregnant teens need the support and advise of adults who know what is going on. Courtney pointed out, and I agree with her, "Unwanted Pregnancy" vs. "Wanted Pregnancy" is also not a good choice because it puts a negative feeling into the whole thing. Even those who have an unwanted pregnancy don't want to admit it, and are probably trying to find a way to make it work. I think Nancy311's suggestion of "Pregnancy after Infertility" is a good one. However, some of the girls in the pregnancy group are saying they will leave the pregnancy group altogether if it is made into two. The best option I can see, to fulfill the needs of both sides, is to add to the Secondary Infertility group (maybe just change the title to "Secondary Infertility/Pregnancy After Infertility). There aren't very many of us there, so it would be good to have new members. All of us are mothers, so we have experienced pregnancy and wouldn't have hurt feelings discussing it with those who are pregnant, and we would all share the common bond of infertility. I hope this helps with your decision.
To: Doug
Sent : 05/18/07, 11:36 am
Subject: Pregnancy Groups
There has been quite a discussion going on concerning the issue of having two pregnancy groups. After reading both sides of the opinions, I feel that my suggestion for an "Adult Pregnancy" vs. "Teen Pregnancy" group would be a mistake because those pregnant teens need the support and advise of adults who know what is going on. Courtney pointed out, and I agree with her, "Unwanted Pregnancy" vs. "Wanted Pregnancy" is also not a good choice because it puts a negative feeling into the whole thing. Even those who have an unwanted pregnancy don't want to admit it, and are probably trying to find a way to make it work. I think Nancy311's suggestion of "Pregnancy after Infertility" is a good one. However, some of the girls in the pregnancy group are saying they will leave the pregnancy group altogether if it is made into two. The best option I can see, to fulfill the needs of both sides, is to add to the Secondary Infertility group (maybe just change the title to "Secondary Infertility/Pregnancy After Infertility). There aren't very many of us there, so it would be good to have new members. All of us are mothers, so we have experienced pregnancy and wouldn't have hurt feelings discussing it with those who are pregnant, and we would all share the common bond of infertility. I hope this helps with your decision.
Diem
Jaxie~ Just listen to what they are saying "we are going to leave if they split the pregnancy board" how much more imature can that get. This is getting so stupid it borders on patheic. The real issue is being overlooked. It's not wanted vs unwanted its about dealing with pregnancy after a more serious condition such as loss or infertility.
Babywishes
I totally agree with you. And I admit I was wrong about the whole unwanted/wanted pregnancy idea. I didn't really think that through. Do you think it would work to combine the Secondary Infertility group and Pregnancy After Infertility, or do you think the Pregnancy After Infertility Group needs to be separate?
Diem
I would be fine with either. Right now on the pregnancy board, doug has posted a thread. I think he should have posted it over here too. I am getting really frustrated with the fact that most people on the pregnancy board don't realize why this request has been asked, even though it's been explained more then once. I really do hope this issue gets resolved soon as this is really getting old. I really could care less about all the arguments.
Babywishes
I agree with you, and I felt the same way about Doug not posting here also. Oh well, none of it involves me anyway, other than the fact that I would love to see more members in the Secondary Infertility group. Happy vibes! Let's send them around! Lots of love! He,he.
deleted_user
Hi....was passing by the infertility community, hope you dont mind.....but i just wanted to see for myself as there has been a few posts in the pregnancy comunity saying that this community has been bitchung about the pregnancy one, but i have found no evidence what so ever. I think that wether you are trying to concieve or are pregnant we are all part of one and i have only been here for a few days but kinda regret joining. yeh i get support and i thank u all for it soooo much, its great to hear other peoples storys and i try to help people back. I may be young and a bit imature but i truly hope we can all get along as one, no matter how many 'different' communtitys there are, its discrimination. Im not getting at anyone here atall and i hope you dont mind me droping a line. My thoughts are with you all and i hope you get the babys that you all deserve ladys. please take care xx
Diem
That just the thing, it's NOT discrimination. I think this is the perfect example (yet again) of why we do need the seperate community. Even if its this community that we stay in, or if we go over to the secondary page. I just am so sick of this it's pathetic.
deleted_user
ok.....and what did i say that was offencive, like i say sometimes help isnt much appreciated....take care and il b sure not to come past here again
deleted_user
Well, my vote is for "pregnancy after infertility or loss" (ie m/c). But....I dont want to stir up trouble!!! I am, as we all are, looking for peace and serenity in a difficult situation. I dont think (in my humble opinion) we should combine preg. after infertility w/ secondary infertility. All our heads are better than one, so the discussion is great.
Babywishes
I voted for that too, nancy (in the suggestions). This other was just an idea--I guess because I wish there were more people there for me to talk to. :)
deleted_user
To Kirstylouise---I read and reread your reply here (no. 5) It seems kind and very well-intentioned. Then it seems your feelings were hurt (reply no. 7) and i feel bad. In part, b/c if i had a child at 23, they would be your age. so, i feel maternal protectiveness---i cant help it. i do not know what you meant about discrimination. but your words were kind and wishes the best for eveyone on the infertility site. so thank you for that. and we all need to keep in mind how sensitive we are--it is difficult TTC. and computer comunication has a lot of limitations. (plus, as always, there are always a few bad eggs in the batch....oh the irony of that statement given our situation!!!) I wish eveyone the best...esp. BFP's. I am not trying to state anything offensive!
deleted_user
I think it is so sad that we are having trouble with this. I really wish it was an easy choice and Doug could just add a seperate community, but unfortunately this is turning into a little bit of a problem. I completely agree that the PG community is not somewhere that those of us who are getting that BFP are going to feel comforted. The issues discussed there are completely different from what we would go through. I agree with you ladies about making a "pregnancy after infertility" community or something similar. I really hope we can come to some kind of resolution soon. Personally, when I do get that BFP, I will stay here. I love you ladies too much to leave!
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