Infertility Support Group
In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.
Hi all,
I have been away from DS for what feels like an eternity, yet here I am again, desperately needing my sister's guidance.
My problem is that my best friend is 15 weeks pregnant . I found out I lost my baby at 12 weeks two years ago after trying for over 4 years and undergoing IVF. We have tried FET to no avail and will try IVF again next month... I know that I am going to sound like a total bitch, but every time I see her smiling face on face book I just get so sad!!!
I feel like the worst friend on earth! every time I come away feeling guilty to the point that I can't even speak to her (I moved away to another state early this year for work)
She has also had problems with fertility issues and that is the reason why I feel so angry at myself! she has suffered just like me and I have no right do begrudge her this happiness... but then I look at her and think, how come I lost my baby and not you??? how come you sit there smiling and proud while I live in hell each and every day...
to make things worse since loosing my Emily EVERYONE and I do mean EVERYONE that I know has fallen pregnant and had a baby... I am the only one who has not. I always feel left out somehow... and every year among the hurt and pain which is IF and loosing a baby to a miscarriage, I have to put up with someone else showing their pics of their baby, their belly, their child once born....
I just don't know how to overcome this
I have been away from DS for what feels like an eternity, yet here I am again, desperately needing my sister's guidance.
My problem is that my best friend is 15 weeks pregnant . I found out I lost my baby at 12 weeks two years ago after trying for over 4 years and undergoing IVF. We have tried FET to no avail and will try IVF again next month... I know that I am going to sound like a total bitch, but every time I see her smiling face on face book I just get so sad!!!
I feel like the worst friend on earth! every time I come away feeling guilty to the point that I can't even speak to her (I moved away to another state early this year for work)
She has also had problems with fertility issues and that is the reason why I feel so angry at myself! she has suffered just like me and I have no right do begrudge her this happiness... but then I look at her and think, how come I lost my baby and not you??? how come you sit there smiling and proud while I live in hell each and every day...
to make things worse since loosing my Emily EVERYONE and I do mean EVERYONE that I know has fallen pregnant and had a baby... I am the only one who has not. I always feel left out somehow... and every year among the hurt and pain which is IF and loosing a baby to a miscarriage, I have to put up with someone else showing their pics of their baby, their belly, their child once born....
I just don't know how to overcome this
You don't have to say it to your friend, but my suggestion is acknowledge your anger. If you understand that you are angry and/or envious and begin to work though those emotions, it may help you down the road. Give yourself some space from your friend to allow yourself the time to be pissed, to cry, to pout or to feel whatever emotions. However, it has to be done without guilt. Your feelings are real and you are entitled to them.
And most importantly, be gentle with yourself during this time. Journal, take long, fragrant bubble baths, watch some of your favorite movies (make sure they don't have "triggers" in them - i.e. babies, expectant mothers, etc.), listen to some of your favorite music; or if you feel up to it hang out with other friends who do not have children.