We have done/are doing frozen donor egg. Our issue was age (I'm over 40). We've been on this roller coaster for six years. My husband had sperm issues, but ICSI solved that problem. I did 3 ivfs with my own eggs and ICSI and it did not work. I did IUI's... no luck.

Last November I got preggo on my first ivf using frozen donor eggs. Then I lost my little one at 19 weeks preggo due to an incompetent cervix. Even though the egg used for this pregnancy wasn't my own, the minute I was preggo, I felt like this was my own child. I never had second thoughts....my hubby didn't mind from the get go. It took me a while to decide to do donor egg, but after I put my ego to the side, I realized it was more important to have a family with my hubby. It didn't matter if my baby had my genes or not. I would still be the one raising her.

We would have perhaps considered adoption if I was younger, but we never started the process years ago. Now given our age, I don't want to go through all the red tape involved. We've already wasted enough time.

Not having children is not an option for us. We've been married a long time and have gotten quite comfortable just the two of us. However, after losing our daughter in March, it solidified our feelings about wanting to have a child and family of our own.

I think there are a variety of options for embryo adoption. There's also a group on DS for IVF with Donor Eggs.

I hope this helps. Wishing you the best.

Oh and here's the link to the DS group IVF with Donor Eggs or Embryos http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/eggdonorivf

As soon as DH has his first SA, the doctors told us we would have to do IVF if we wanted to use his sperm or we could use a donor and do IUI. We made a decision right off the bat that when we had a child is would be biologically both of ours or neither of ours but we werent going to do a sperm donor for the reason you stated above. i didnt want him to ever feel that I had more with our child because biologically it was mine and not his. After many years of denial we decided on IVF and i got a BFP, however if it had not worked, our next step was to look into donated embryos or adopting a child who was already born. Everyone's decision and journey is different. so its hard to to say what i think you should do because we are different. Maybe take some quiet time to sit and think about it (like in a meditative kind of way) and you will find your answer in your heart....best of luck with the FET

I did embryo adoption for similar reasons- Either both ours or neither ours biologically speaking. Our clinic did not offer egg donation or it was very expensive and chances were slim. There was not a wait list and you can do anonymous. Although I will say adopting an embryo is not like adopting a child because the embryo was created on purpose by 2 people that should really know what it means to love a child. We did open adoption and got information on the bio parents as well as information on the other embryos that had been previously adopted and would be siblings to our intended child. My only regret is the clinic or rather doctor I chose in Tennessee. We gave up to included transfers because I was not willing to work with that particular doctor.

We are currently trying fresh IVF again because we moved and have insurance coverage but we have discussed embryo adoption or egg donation as possible next steps if IVF should fail us again.

Oh and my donor eggs were frozen. There are programs now in the US where you can get frozen donor eggs. https://www.donoreggbankusa.com/
It's cheaper than fresh donor eggs, anonymous and less stressful than a fresh donor egg cycle because you don't have to wait for the donor's cycle to sync with yours. You just get the eggs and they can be transfered anytime.

It took me a little time to accept the whole concept of donor egg, but then I realized that this baby would be growing inside me, so I would be its birth mother anyway. He/she would be with me from day one. I know you're considering donor sperm, but these are just my thoughts. Do what's best for your situation.

First things first, you have a FET to get through. Good luck!

Nikki, my DH has azoospermia and has 0 sperm. We have had talks after talks on what it will be like using donor sperm for my DH and our future children. At the end of the day he wants me to experience a pregnancy and knows that even though biologically our children won't be his, he will be the only dad they've ever known. We've chosen to talk about our struggles pretty openly with people so our children will know that Chris is not biologically their dad but doesn't love them any less. I'm sorry you are facing these difficult decisions. Know that I am here for you and am constantly praying for you and Ryan!

Mags- thank you for the suggestion, I added that group. How did the retrevial go and do you know when your transfer is?
Kate- thank you and congrats again, I've been thinking of you & wishing the best.
PinCushion- thank you for sharing. I hope to find an agency that will transport the embryos to the clinic we already use. I sent you a friend request :)
Lindsey- thanks for sharing! I am so excited your DH is home so you guys can get started again ASAP! :)

We did two international closed adoptions. Let me know if you have any questions :)

We considered donor but for me personally I needed to be open about it or not do it at all. When people saw our baby and tried (like they always do!) to see if it looked more like hubby or me I just knew it would feel bitter sweet. I'm really sensitive though. Hubby wanted it private and so we realized it wasn't for us. Just something to consider.

Thanks Mel, how have you been feeling? I still can't believe (and am so excited) you have 3 precious babies! I did 3 embryos on my last IFV and was thinking about you! We will do our FET in September and doing 3 again.