It is really hard, especially when no one around you understands. I tried to explain some of my feelings to my DH and although he was supportive he totally didn't get it.

To make it worse, like you we are going through somewhat of a baby boom here. (5 pregnant co-workers, 2 family members, 3 friends) and the shower invited or baby pictures just keep rolling in. Coping can take so much energy or send you into a shut down mode.

In the end I sometimes have to acknowledged that my H will not understand, but cares about me and I let him know that. I try to explain that even though he may not understand, I can't do this or I need this right now.

Good luck and hang in there. You are not alone!

I know it's hard. My sister got pregnant by accident when we had been trying for several years. When my nephew was born- i stood in the hallway and sobbed and couldn't go in to see him. Explain to your DH if you need more time. Hopefully it will all work out. Good Luck.

Hi, I think most of us know exactly how you feel right now..... My heart goes out to you.
I understand the feeling of being happy for someone but feeling so let down for yourself.
Maybe talk to DH and ask for a few days to get your head round the idea of going to see them.
I hope you feel better soon. HUGS

I certainly understand you now; maybe a couple of months ago I would've been like: "what is wrong with you? cant you be happy about them?"... but I know how it is to feel like you've been dragged down to the pits; and how hard it is to make it back up and be "normal" again. My advice is take your time to heal emotionally and if you need alone and to have your "self-pity time" (I love that term and have been using it since I joined DS because it's so spot on)... then so be it!

But... and you know there is always a but... right?

You need turn this situation into something positive for you; know that you are allowed to be "down" but also know that you need to turn around quickly because these moods can and will affect your fertility. Why not go and meet the newborn? Think of it as an opportunity to soak in all the baby energy that your body needs right now? Use it as visualization? Craddle the baby in your arms and imagine how your own will feel and how your heart is going to feel like it's going to burst with joy? It sounds kind of crazy... but it's how I cope with my friends and co-workers good news about being pregnant and new births...

Hope you feel better soon!

It is so frustrating when people don't understand what we are feeling. My husband was the same way when we found out two of our friends were both expecting...at the same time. I finally explained it to him this way and it seemed to help (I m/c in 07 and have been trying since then).
I told him that it was like one day you get the greatest present in the world (my husband is a sports nut so I had to use a sports reference...). This present is all the money you could ever want, front row seats to all the best sporting events....it's amazing. You get to tell everyone and enjoy it for a little while. Then the people who gave this present to you come in one day and make you give it all back. You are sad and disappointed but you are going to move on and it will be ok. Then you find out that people around you, your friends, all get this awesome present. The difference is that they get to keep it forever. So you have to sit there and watch them enjoy what you once had. You are very happy for your friends' good fortune, but you can't help but be jealous of them and sad for yourself.
I know it's long, but this was the only way I could phrase it that my husband kind of got it. He still has a long way to go, but it is better than what it was. good luck!!!

i have no problem just saying to the new mother.. "he/she is beautiful! but seeing your new family makes me feel so jealous right now!"
maybe this just makes the family feel guilty when they shouldn't but i hope it just helps them understand how hard it is for me, and why my response isn't quite the same as everyone else's.
maybe something to try if you feel comfortable with the new parents.
good luck, and this too shall pass!

I'm sorry for all you are feeling. I have sure been there many times. I try to tell myself that this new baby, that isn't mine, gives me hope that someday I will have my own. Also, I say to myself that putting my body near a new baby will remind my body that it is maternal and to get to work and give me what I want! :)

I know...kind of silly, but these tricks help me through the rough patches. Big hugs from the USA.

In December, good friends of ours had a baby. Unfortunately, during the time she was preggo, I was going through IF but also had a miscarriage so I couldn't deal with her preggo-ness therefore I avoided her like the plague. My DH wanted to have dinner with them last Friday (this is post baby)...I spent the entire day worrying and stewing and worked myself into a tizzy. We get to the house and I wait as long as possible to go in...I went in and saw the baby and...I was okay. I couldn't believe it! I was actually just fine. I held him (he cried A LOT) and smelled him and I felt good. So, maybe you will be surprisingly okay. GL

I know exactly how you feel at this very moment! One of my best friends just had a baby 2 days ago and I want to be happy for her and I want to see the baby, but at the same time I don't. I couldn't even go to the hospital because I didn't want to be in the maternity area and I don't want to go to her house because I know there's going to be a lot of people there all excited about the baby. Luckly she knows and understands how I feel, but I still feel like I'm not being a good friend.